Boyfriend's Swaylocks addiction

General Discussion
1

Hello Everyone,

I know that this is a very useful site, and I appreciate all that you guys do. However, there is just one problem that I have… my boyfriend is addicted to this site. By this i mean he is thinking about swaylocks 24/7… awake or asleep. He eats, sleeps, and breathes swaylocks. It has gotten to the point where he will just get this dazed look about him, and he doesn’t notice anything that is going on around him, and when he snaps out of it he starts talking about swaylocks. I am starting to get a little jealous!!!

Thanks everyone, and I hope all goes well with the boards!

Sincerely,

   Concerned Girlfriend

P.S. :wink: B.O.S.

2

Replace him, he’s ruined. I’d help you find a new one but I have some more Discussion threads to check out.

Good Luck…

3

I’m sorry, I thought you were going to make an issue about you’re boyfriends addiction to Sway’s. Sounds like everything is A-O-K. Yes sir-ee, perfectly normal.

4

Yes, he’s obviously broken 2x4.

Find one that knows just about everything about this site already…

He would have come through fairly well unscathed…

Or, go out and buy all the stuff listed on this site for him and wait 6 months for the grin to wear off…

BTW, welcome to Swaylocks…we’re all pretty normal here…Oh except for Psycho and Rubberlove…

5
Quote:
we're all pretty normal here....

We are? Oops… I’m on the wrong site.

6

Concerned Girlfriend,

Do you remember in the 1980’s when a man wears an ear ring in his right ear it was a signal about sexual orientation?? I hate to break the news to you but this site is a gay mans board building site. Alot of gay code is spoken here to fool the masses.

For instance the typical start is…

“Will this board work for me” thread. Goes something like this…I’m 6’, 190lbs and in fairly good shape. I’m looking for a 6’2", 19 x 2 1/2 al merrick thruster…blah, blah, blah.

Did you feel the spent up cry for love with that post.

other code like sex wax, rocker, shape, stringer, twin fin, foil,spin templet, electric planer, rubber, gloss coat, off the lip, back side, front side, hang ten, nose riding, leashless, sanding, machined,pre shape, cheater coat, pigment, pu/pe, stringerless, vacuum bagring all would be either song titlesor lyrics by the village people if they still made records errrr I mean CD’s.

But even the gayest of posters here do get stumped on this code sometimes.

For me it’s the code APS3000. As near as I can tell I think it means a bath house in australia.

Also “swaylocks 24/7” is code too and i will let your soon to be ex-boyfriend tell you what that means. I hope you let him off easy and he won’t be refering to you as plantiff in his next post.

Sincerely,

concerned member (which is code for “have you know who to pm me”!!!)

7

That my dear man was HILARIOUS… (code for Hill Hairy Ar$e)

Very Very well done…

One of the most funniest replys of the year…

Just don’t break “The Code” (Code for Code)

8

“butt crack”

everyone here LOVES butt crack

9

well, maybe only the cali boys ?

" 2x4 " (nice name , is that what you HIT him with every time he is on the computer??) this site is actually ‘gaylords’, but in this era (error?) of american politic correctedness , and in order to maintain at least a compsand thickness veneer of heterosexuality , these guys [the moderators] * thought ‘swaylocks’ sounded less gay.

Best solution ? surf yourself ! join in the fun and get addicted too. Sure beats sitting around in fucking coffee shops all day , and shopping.

Peta

(yes , there is a lady called boardlady , and a Rachel here , so it is not ENTIRELY a men only club.)

  • meet the moderators , five perfectly normal guys. Nothing strange here at all.

10

Hi ya 2x4,

Apparently, you just check the Archives. Everything you ever wanted to know is locked away there. Now you might have to set aside some special time for just the two of you. That is you and the Archives. The way it was explained to me, sometimes the Archives just want to be held, so you need to have their needs in mind too. Every once in a while the Archives will surprise you by giving it to you just the way you wanted it. The main thing is do not get caught even looking at another Surfboard Forum, let alone digging in another Archive. While some of these postings might be tongue in cheek (gross), others can be meaningful (mine). It’s up to you to figure out what you want. Sure it’s a lot of work, but the most rewarding things usually are. Hope this helps.

WM

11
Quote:

and in order to maintain at least a compsand thickness veneer of heterosexuality

…heh…nice

12

Fin box, Leash Plug, sticky bumps.

Ew…just the word plug…I can’t take it. Creeped.

13

Get a Dog !

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Quote:

Fin box, Leash Plug, sticky bumps.

Ew…just the word plug…I can’t take it. Creeped.

don’t you remember the “butt plug” from A.S.S. ?!?!!!

15

Soulstice,

I don’t remember any butt plugs. I must’ve been really, really drunk. OHHHH!

disgusting.

16

Okay,

This has got me so worked up I’m gonna have to strap-on my leash and get some noserides on a big log. Hopefully I’ll get a tube ride. Don’t forget. Always wear a rashguard.

Woa! Hey! Badda-big! Takes me back to Jr. High.

17

At first I’m thinking “troll,” but I couldn’t even make it through your post - laughing so hard… had to log on.

god I hate you now cuz’ I’m just stuck full of the double “on-ton-druhs” Haahahahah

18

I heard that Chip was looking for a man to help polish his deck and coat his bottom!!! “Fnar Fnar”

19

[Okay , following on from 'Psycho’s coffee and shopping comments…[ and , NO …I am NOT this chick’s boyfriend , nor would I ever WANT to be !! ]

“my girlfriend said she would leave me if I went for one more surf . Gosh , I’ll miss her” . …NOT !]

Quote:

Hello Everyone,

I know that this is a very useful girl’s shopping and coffee shop magazine , and I’m sure you girls appreciate all that you girls do.

However, there is just one problem that I have… my girlfriend is addicted to this coffee shop, getting fat , bitching to her closet lesbian girlfriends about us blokes, and shopping. By this i mean she is thinking about eating and shopping 24/7… awake or asleep.

She eats, sleeps, and breathes shopping , getting fat in coffee shops , and bitching …

And of course , it’s okay for HER to do all those things , but if I ever get on swaylocks for more than five minutes a day [no chance of THAT , while SHE is shoulder surfing me !] , she starts screaming that I don’t love her and goes ballistic , throwing things , and ringing her girlfriends to complain about me .

So , then , they all get together at a coffee shop and …

[An abusive four page letter from the feminist lesbian who runs the magazine was thrown , with a brick , through the guy’s front window the next morning , apparently .]

…well…

no double standards there , eh ?

[Girls can do whatever the hell they want , but if a guy wants to enjoy his life , god help him if women aren’t involved . ]

cheers !

 ben

[p.s. - Rachel and 'The BoardLady ,

YOU rule !

get ALL your girl friends into surfing and making boards …spread the physical exercise stoke !]

p.s. -

what does

P.S. B.O.S. mean ? ['bunch of s**t , as in a “troll post” , I’m guessing ?

if so , too funny , “girl” !!

…if not …too SAD ! you need a life [of your own] . Or a hobby . Or a sport.

20
Quote:

That my dear man was HILARIOUS… (code for Hell Hairy Ar$e)

…see what OTAY means ?!

THAT one was “straight” , man to man … not even coded !!

[ “he has a wife , you know” !]

[ …“you know what HER name is …?”]