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The only thing uglier than an angry young surfer is an angry old one. Aloha, SF.
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Sorry the hear Screwfoot.
That quote above is very telling. I dont know what exactly ails you, but you should consider buying one of John Sarno MD's books. His success rate is 90%.
Try this link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_E._Sarno
Scroll down to the external links at bottom and click on ABC 20/20 segment.
I bought one of his books after reading several dozen book reviews on Amazon.com. I think there were almost 400 reviews, each one pretty much like the others "i tried everything...this changed my life" sort of thing. Could be your ticket if you havent tried it.
If you do buy the book, keep your quote above in mind.
The book I bought was $15.
Surfing will always be a part of who you are. I gave it up for 23 years - never thought I'd get back to it in this lifetime, but funny thing I still dreamed surfing, and never got to the point where I could look at a wave without categorizing: left; right, close-out...makeable; unmakeable.
I could go into depressing detail of the circumstances that took me away: my daughter and only child molested, then in a bizarre twist, taken from me and put into the custody of the molester, my life threatened, had to move away from the coast, forced to pay outrageous child-support and legal fees to the point of personal bankruptcy, etc. etc. A big dark depressing chapter of my life.
Now I'm older. You think about life differently. Our time here is reduced, we're on the downside of the hill. We appreciate smaller things, find pleasure in little details. Savor what good things are left for us. My daughter returned to me after many years, and we raised her from teenage to adult. She had a lot of scars and issues from what happened, but she got past it, and is a good person, now happily married, and we are close - although she lives in Montana we talk often.
I think surfboard building, and discussions here at Swaylock's, are a healthy way for me to access my love of surfing, even 'tho I now live hours from the beach, don't get out much, and often struggle with age and fitness issues when I am out.
I am sure you will work through this, just posting as you did took courage, and is probably therapeutic. I for one am glad when others share their personal battles, I think we all gain when they do. Hang in there bro', we're on shore cheerin' for ya! Aloha.
Age and Pain are mostly in the mind.
Yeah sometimes we hurt,but whingin wont fix it !!
Keep surfin,and remember that it could be much worse !!
Thanks for the replies.
Huckleberry- That is heavy. Glad things worked out in the long run. Life can throw some mean curves.
Crafty- I have heard of Dr. Sarno. Will check out his approach. Mahalo
Silverbak- The real scary medical conditions begin when mind over matter stops working. I toughed it out until I could'nt
handle any longer. The testing began. I am choosing to keep the rest private. Whining does'nt do a damn
bit of good. Keep surfing.
don't mistake kindness for weakness. Now to get back "on track". Cheers
Long,long ago and far away the doc said to me! We can amputate your leg below the knee tonight and save your knee joint and have a good stump! If we wait untill tomorrow , more than likely we will have to take it off above the knee. It's up to you !! My decision was to take a chance and not amputate. Oh the pain!! I am forever thankful for the nurses that gave up their off duty time to massage my leg and keep the blood flowing . Oh the pain!! Well they didn't amputate and I kept the leg. The doc said there was to much tissue and nerve damage and I wasn't going to walk on that foot again. Well in 6 months I was walking. But oh the pain!! The doc said that some day the injury would come back and haunt me! The pain is always there, sometimes a little and sometimes a lot. I have managed to adapt so I could surf and windsurf and kitesurf. Its really something how I don't feel the pain when I am really locked into a wave ! After a couple hours of water time when I come in the pain can be !!!! A bitch !! I don't take meds-never did !!! Now with a torn rotator cuff surfing is out! There is hope for kite surfing in time. SUP never was interested in it but do it cause it keeps me in the water and in condition. Yes there is a lot of pain when standing so I spend a lot of time paddleing on my knees. We had a saying in the military that pain is good !!! As long as you feel pain you are still alive !! If your alive there is hope !!! There are two ways you can go. The door to death or the ladder to life! Feel the pain and be glad cause that means there is hope. Never give up ! EVER!!! Don't complain about what you have no control over. Just get on with life the best you can !!!
On the subject of anger ! Uncontroled anger can lead to rage! Not a good thing!! Controled anger stimulates adrenaline which is a good thing and will save your ass when the shit hits the fan!!! It's OK to be angry as long as you manage it for good !! Anger got me through a year of war !!! Use it to your advantage brother !!!!