I’m wondering what the consenus would be if I were to ask all you surf guys if you’d want your wife/girlfriend to be a regular surf buddy? Do most guys want this surf time to get away from her or just be with the guys? Thanks!! I’m thinking of surfing with my hubby after many years of being together, however, I don’t want to cramp his style. When I asked him he responded with a slight smile but I’m not sure if he was just being nice to save face… Your replies will help me decide…
I’m wondering what the consenus would be if I were to ask all you surf > guys if you’d want your wife/girlfriend to be a regular surf buddy? Do > most guys want this surf time to get away from her or just be with the > guys? Thanks!! I’m thinking of surfing with my hubby after many years of > being together, however, I don’t want to cramp his style. When I asked him > he responded with a slight smile but I’m not sure if he was just being > nice to save face… Your replies will help me decide…you’ll never know unless you try!Herb.
I’m wondering what the consenus would be if I were to ask all you surf > guys if you’d want your wife/girlfriend to be a regular surf buddy? Do > most guys want this surf time to get away from her or just be with the > guys? Thanks!! I’m thinking of surfing with my hubby after many years of > being together, however, I don’t want to cramp his style. When I asked him > he responded with a slight smile but I’m not sure if he was just being > nice to save face… Your replies will help me decide… I’ve been there twice. (From a man’s point-of-view.) It definitely depends on the man. My advice is – don’t cramp his style unless he insists. Everybody needs an “escape”. Including you. You have your time while he’s at work or whatever, (figuritively) to do “whatever” besides your regular stuff. Consideration is your friend, or your enemy. Depending on your situation and marriage. – You can never be “too nice” until someone uses that against you. And then, no holds barred. Hope that helps. http://www.ozzysurfboards.com
I’ve been there twice. (From a man’s point-of-view.) It definitely depends > on the man. My advice is – don’t cramp his style unless he insists. > Everybody needs an “escape”. Including you. You have your time > while he’s at work or whatever, (figuritively) to do “whatever” > besides your regular stuff. Consideration is your friend, or your enemy. > Depending on your situation and marriage. – You can never be “too > nice” until someone uses that against you. And then, no holds barred. > Hope that helps. Sorry, I forgot one very important thing. Be honest, but nice with him. Tell him you want to give him room to have some fun and friends, etc. If not, your days might be numbered. No offense, but you can do the math from there. Cool? Hope that helps also. – Jake http://www.ozzysurfboards.com
Sorry, I forgot one very important thing. Be honest, but nice with him. > Tell him you want to give him room to have some fun and friends, etc. If > not, your days might be numbered. No offense, but you can do the math from > there. Cool? Hope that helps also. – Jake My wife, doesn’t surf,but if she did, she’d be more than welcome.My friends who have wives/girl friends that do surf don’t mind at all. In this area many of the woman surfers tend to stick together, surf together. In fact they formed their own organization. " Chicks on Stix " and by the way they picked out the name, not the guy’s. R.I. surfer
When I was younger ( I’m 50 something now ) I liked surf trips with the guys because it was cheaper and my wife ( now of 27 years ) does not surf. I didn’t think leaving her on the beach for hours alone was cool. If she surfed it would have made a lot of difference, although some of the places we went may not have been as safe for a couple as it was for 4 or 5 guys. Now however I can not find anyone who can drop things and go surfing without weeks of planning. I would welcome my wife’s company, however, she has been on one to many hardcore surf trips and doesn,t like sleeping in cars, tents, picknix tables etc. She has no problem with me going whenever I want so thats ok with me.
I’m wondering what the consenus would be if I were to ask all you surf > guys if you’d want your wife/girlfriend to be a regular surf buddy? Do > most guys want this surf time to get away from her or just be with the > guys? Thanks!! I’m thinking of surfing with my hubby after many years of > being together, however, I don’t want to cramp his style. When I asked him > he responded with a slight smile but I’m not sure if he was just being > nice to save face… Your replies will help me decide… I would love to have my partner join me for a surf session…A lot depends if he has the patience to teach you to surf if u dont already. If the waves are firing I know I’d want to surf first then give surf lessons later. I tell you what an almost sure fire way to get involved with your hubby’s passion. Be his personal surf video photographer he’ll dig that for sure…
R.I. surfer…sorry, I didn’t mean to imply that “I”, or “he”, or anyone wouldn’t want their babe with them. I was just talking about long-term in the abstract sense. Din’t mean to suggest “he” wouldn’t want you along with him.
My personal opinion is that you should learn to surf, but don’t make it a habit of going with him every time. We all need our escapes. It would be nice, however, if you learned to surf so that when you are on vacation you two could surf together, or on a weekend you could go out and surf. I personally would not want my girlfriend going surfing with me all the time because I really enjoy surfing with my buddies and surfing by myself and if my girlfriend was with me I would feel that I had to either watch out for her or stay with her the whole time (however irrational that might be). Surfing is about forgetting about everything and just surfing.
i surf with my wife all the time and it’s a great thing to share. she only goes out when its under head high, so i get plenty of time with the bros(hopefully), and its such a kick to see her catch a nice wave. she’s been surfing about two years and just getting the trim and turn thing happening and it’s cool to see her progress. i DID however make her go and take a lesson first from someone else. she actually had a woman teach her, which she liked, and later did a weekend with surfdiva’s in la jolla. i spent 10 years as a rockclimbing guide/instructor and my take is let a professional do the dirty work, you’ll come out looking much better for it in the end…
i surf with my wife all the time and it’s a great thing to share. she only > goes out when its under head high, so i get plenty of time with the > bros(hopefully), and its such a kick to see her catch a nice wave. she’s > been surfing about two years and just getting the trim and turn thing > happening and it’s cool to see her progress. i DID however make her go and > take a lesson first from someone else. she actually had a woman teach her, > which she liked, and later did a weekend with surfdiva’s in la jolla. i > spent 10 years as a rockclimbing guide/instructor and my take is let a > professional do the dirty work, you’ll come out looking much better for it > in the end… just realized i’m addressing “her” not “him”, but i’m sure you get the idea…
My wife tried surfing for the first time on our honeymoon in Maui 3 weeks ago. She’s totally stoked about it and so am I. Unfortunately, she’s not stoked enough to weather the colder SF Bay Area water - so, at the moment, I’m still out of luck (I am working on it - any pointers would be appreciated!). Obviously I’m one who’d want their wife to out with them. I think you should go for it and watch you don’t cramp each others style (easier said-than-done but maybe possible). In terms of learning, I just had to try stuff on my own a lot -maybe you don’t need him giving you pointers all the time. good luck
I think it may depend on the skill of the “tag along” If he/she is just a beginner, it may become a hinderance to the other (unless they were inviting the “tag along”) BUT…If the tag along was good and could sit in the lineup with the rest of us, I, personally, would be stoked…catching the same wave, congratulating each other on good rides, etc. I have tried to get my girlfriend to learn how to surf but she is too intimidated by the water. I have finally stopped asking her to go with me. I may have been doing it so I didn’t feel as guilty about going without her. Honestly, I agree with Zeek in getting lessons. You tend to whine less if you don’t know the person. (I whine tons to my significant other)
Oh, how I wish I could surf with my wife again. I met her in Oz, she introduced me to surfing and showed me the basics. She toted me along in big Margret River on several occations and never said I cramped her style. Good times. Now one of us has to be on the beach with the kids (2/5) all the time and can hardly watch the other surf. When mom comes to visit we paddle out togather and its magic to have my best friend surfing with me again. Anyway, tell him you’re intrested and would like to paddle out with him a couple of times. maybe then he’ll start asking you if you want to go surfing, if not you’ll know he wants to be out there for buddy time or peace time. I gotta call my mom JR
AUWE!..What a dilemma…(is that Nohelani or NO Leilani!!!)…You pose a kind of rough one…(while you wouldn’t think it ought to be…it IS!). Seems like you SORT OF got your answer, already, if he was less than enthusiastic about the whole deal. Remember, you used the operative word…“regular” surf buddy. This could be shakey terrain. Before I stick the rest of my “dollah tree eighty” in there, I’ve got to pose you a few questions before I proceed. Why did you let so many years go by with out asking him about this before?! (really?!). How come you were never drawn to surfing BEFORE you two met. If you really want to surf, you can learn WITH him or WITHOUT him. I realize that it would be the grandest thing to have your soulmate “teach” you to surf. (he can give you safety and technique tips, but ultimately, we all - actually - “teach” ourselves to surf). Are you asking him because you want to be closer to him and his spirituality (face it, this IS like religion to many of us); do you want to do this because you really, really want to surf, or is there something else there?! Are you worried how he spends his great amounts of time in the water? Just want to be with him more, and share his experience? Of course, you realize his skill level must be pretty advanced, compared to you…but you can learn…with him or without him (I, know, you want it to be WITH him). It shouldn’t be a big deal, but I don’t know how much time hubby has to surf during the week…I will guarantee he’d love to “teach”, you and get you started. I can also say that he will probably be very proud of you when you become proficient. There are times, however, when he will need to “commune” all by himself. You, too, can attain the stoke and pure sense of peace he gets when he comes home all “surfed out”. I can also say that he would probably be so grateful that you’ve attained a level of proficiency TO surf with him - someday - that he might actually RELISH the idea. It could actually bring you closer together. But you have to, also, respect his spiritual side ( yeah, yeah,…a lot of folks think that’s just bull-or something- after all, it’s ONLY surfing!). Not so, for all of us, and you have obviously sensed this from your delicate way of approaching this with your husband. Please don’t judge the man if he’s less than willing, at first; you are entering something very heavy for him… he will offer you, if you really want this for you…but, remember, everyone needs thier own space - sometimes. Don’t EVER give it the, “you love surfing more than me” rap - (don’t go there, girlfriend), or you may see a look on “Mortimer”'s face like you have never seen before. (why do I get the feeling I have been talking about ME, again?!). We are desperately drawn to the things we adore. Po maika’i! (good luck)…Find your path…(sometimes they cross and become one). Aloha a hui hou, Tom.
AUWE!..What a dilemma…(is that Nohelani or NO Leilani!!!)…You pose a > kind of rough one…(while you wouldn’t think it ought to be…it IS!). > Seems like you SORT OF got your answer, already, if he was less than > enthusiastic about the whole deal. Remember, you used the operative > word…“regular” surf buddy. This could be shakey terrain. > Before I stick the rest of my “dollah tree eighty” in there, > I’ve got to pose you a few questions before I proceed. Why did you let so > many years go by with out asking him about this before?! (really?!). How > come you were never drawn to surfing BEFORE you two met. If you really > want to surf, you can learn WITH him or WITHOUT him. I realize that it > would be the grandest thing to have your soulmate “teach” you to > surf. (he can give you safety and technique tips, but ultimately, we all - > actually - “teach” ourselves to surf). Are you asking him > because you want to be closer to him and his spirituality (face it, this > IS like religion to many of us); do you want to do this because you > really, really want to surf, or is there something else there?! Are you > worried how he spends his great amounts of time in the water? Just want to > be with him more, and share his experience? Of course, you realize his > skill level must be pretty advanced, compared to you…but you can > learn…with him or without him (I, know, you want it to be WITH him). It > shouldn’t be a big deal, but I don’t know how much time hubby has to surf > during the week…I will guarantee he’d love to “teach”, you and > get you started. I can also say that he will probably be very proud of you > when you become proficient. There are times, however, when he will need to > “commune” all by himself. You, too, can attain the stoke and > pure sense of peace he gets when he comes home all “surfed out”. > I can also say that he would probably be so grateful that you’ve attained > a level of proficiency TO surf with him - someday - that he might actually > RELISH the idea. It could actually bring you closer together. But you have > to, also, respect his spiritual side ( yeah, yeah,…a lot of folks think > that’s just bull-or something- after all, it’s ONLY surfing!). Not so, for > all of us, and you have obviously sensed this from your delicate way of > approaching this with your husband. Please don’t judge the man if he’s > less than willing, at first; you are entering something very heavy for > him… he will offer you, if you really want this for you…but, remember, > everyone needs thier own space - sometimes. Don’t EVER give it the, > “you love surfing more than me” rap - (don’t go there, > girlfriend), or you may see a look on “Mortimer”'s face like you > have never seen before. (why do I get the feeling I have been talking > about ME, again?!). We are desperately drawn to the things we adore. Po > maika’i! (good luck)…Find your path…(sometimes they cross and become > one). Aloha a hui hou, Tom. What a fascinating thread! Ahhh… surfing with my girlfriend/wife would have been wonderful… except for the fact that I always surf in cold water, usually in the evenings/night and am fond of conditions that have resulted in visits to the ER. For beginners, any age/male or female: warm water and sunshine, small, and safe waves are the only way to go. Save those sessions with your loved ones that begin at dusk in gnarly, low tide surf, for much later, if ever. Personally speaking, I have been forever changed by a growing awareness of the greatness and mystery of the sea, a sense of danger and an appreciation of raw, untamed beauty at sunrise or sunset… frequently experienced alone.
AUWE!..What a dilemma…(is that Nohelani or NO Leilani!!!)…You pose a > kind of rough one…(while you wouldn’t think it ought to be…it IS!). > Seems like you SORT OF got your answer, already, if he was less than > enthusiastic about the whole deal. Remember, you used the operative > word…“regular” surf buddy. This could be shakey terrain. > Before I stick the rest of my “dollah tree eighty” in there, > I’ve got to pose you a few questions before I proceed. Why did you let so > many years go by with out asking him about this before?! (really?!). How > come you were never drawn to surfing BEFORE you two met. If you really > want to surf, you can learn WITH him or WITHOUT him. I realize that it > would be the grandest thing to have your soulmate “teach” you to > surf. (he can give you safety and technique tips, but ultimately, we all - > actually - “teach” ourselves to surf). Are you asking him > because you want to be closer to him and his spirituality (face it, this > IS like religion to many of us); do you want to do this because you > really, really want to surf, or is there something else there?! Are you > worried how he spends his great amounts of time in the water? Just want to > be with him more, and share his experience? Of course, you realize his > skill level must be pretty advanced, compared to you…but you can > learn…with him or without him (I, know, you want it to be WITH him). It > shouldn’t be a big deal, but I don’t know how much time hubby has to surf > during the week…I will guarantee he’d love to “teach”, you and > get you started. I can also say that he will probably be very proud of you > when you become proficient. There are times, however, when he will need to > “commune” all by himself. You, too, can attain the stoke and > pure sense of peace he gets when he comes home all “surfed out”. > I can also say that he would probably be so grateful that you’ve attained > a level of proficiency TO surf with him - someday - that he might actually > RELISH the idea. It could actually bring you closer together. But you have > to, also, respect his spiritual side ( yeah, yeah,…a lot of folks think > that’s just bull-or something- after all, it’s ONLY surfing!). Not so, for > all of us, and you have obviously sensed this from your delicate way of > approaching this with your husband. Please don’t judge the man if he’s > less than willing, at first; you are entering something very heavy for > him… he will offer you, if you really want this for you…but, remember, > everyone needs thier own space - sometimes. Don’t EVER give it the, > “you love surfing more than me” rap - (don’t go there, > girlfriend), or you may see a look on “Mortimer”'s face like you > have never seen before. (why do I get the feeling I have been talking > about ME, again?!). We are desperately drawn to the things we adore. Po > maika’i! (good luck)…Find your path…(sometimes they cross and become > one). Aloha a hui hou, Tom. You are right about how we are drawn to the things we adore and perhaps that is where I am having difficulty in distinguishing wether or not it is surfing that I want to pursue or is it more of him that I want to pursue. I have come to grips, sadly to say, that surfing is more important to him than I am. That realization came 10 years ago. At least I can say his “other woman” is inanimate and now I do not compete with her (Surfing)any longer. That helped both of us in our relationship. (Believe it or not, we have a great marriage) The main attraction that I had to him was that he was a surfer. I find surfers VERY attractive. Why now? Our children are older, my health is prime (I was unhealthy at one point). This whole thread has got me to think a little deeper about the whole subject and maybe you can answer this question if it applies to you. Do you love surfing more than your partner? I think women may have a different perspective on how love works… but from a mans perspective how do you rank these two things against eachother? You’ve heard the saying “There’s only room at the top for one.” Tom, your opinion is very valuable to me. I would like to know what you or any other guy out there has to say about this deep subject!
My wife of 27 years is the love in my life. Surfing on the other hand is life it self.
Well said.I think another thing that my past girlfriends had difficulty with is the time thing.In other words,surfing,unlike jogging,golfing,etc.isn’t a constant, therefore when it comes up, things get put on hold for a while,including loved ones.I am fortunate that my current girlfriend understands this now (it’s taken about eight years to work through this).Thus, the hours between 2:00pm and roughly 6:00pm left wide open for me to do as I please,which is usually surfin’.If no surf we will usually take a run on the beach or in the hills together,etc.The point is that is my favorite time to surf so don’t plan anything for me during those hours -it’s my life, my release.For us this has worked out great and the love and respect we have for each other grows deeper and stronger…Matt
I’ve been there twice. (From a man’s point-of-view.) It definitely depends > on the man. My advice is – don’t cramp his style unless he insists. > Everybody needs an “escape”. Including you. You have your time > while he’s at work or whatever, (figuritively) to do “whatever” > besides your regular stuff. Consideration is your friend, or your enemy. > Depending on your situation and marriage. – You can never be “too > nice” until someone uses that against you. And then, no holds barred. > Hope that helps. I tried to get my wife to surf with me. When we were dating I took her out once, but then it was a little to big for her to be out there with me, so I thanked god that she stayed inside with the little surf. She was a swimmer in High School and I knew that she enjoyed being in the water, it was just the whole board thing that threw her off. I would love to find a women that I could go surfing with!! To share that experience with your buddies and you significant other at the same time is totally cool. I am not saying that there would not be days where I would want to be by myself or with my buddies alone without her. Camping out on the coast of Mexico by yourself is not very comforting, so I say go for it. He may like to have to you out there. I agree with Herb, “never know till ya try”. Good luck! Mahalo Nui Loa, ST MasterMind Surfboards