how many kiwi's

General Discussion
1

hey how many kiwi's are out there on sway's. No real reason I was just wondering

cheers antony  

2

Two...

3

three

4

I opened this thread expecting a punch line.

5

Where am I?

Is there anybody in here?

How do I get out without breaking something?

Me too, i’m in the club!

6

Yep me to.

I guess thats five.

 

7

Tricky thing to know who's a kiwi and who isn't. If a kiwi becomes famous, then they actually turn into an aussie hehe.

8

And if they turn into a Dick, their are a kiwi again!!!

Cheers

 

9

Six!

Or is that siiiiiix pronounced ( s eeks!) for the australians…

At least it would have been if it had not been an underarm bowl :)…

10

yes what a great moment in aussie sporting history! the stuff hero's are made of

11

[quote="$1"]

hey how many kiwi's are out there on sway's. No real reason I was just wondering

cheers antony  

[/quote]

Maybe you guys could update your user profile?????????  Maybe add your location??? Maybe?

Hmmmmmm..........How many Kiwi's...Hmmmm....

12

wasn't counting kiwis, just how long it would take this thread to descend into brown and sticky....(epoxy?)

 

any kiwi shapers famous across the ditch....

did you know there are over 400,000 of us in Aussie?

13

-The good thing about australia is that its full of kiwis. :stuck_out_tongue:

-The last time i went to australia i was asked at customs if i had a criminal record, my reply was “i wasnt aware you still needed one to get into australia”. :slight_smile:

(Now ive started the ball rolling you aussys can give it back to me 3 fold, and i know yall have better jokes as i get a good shot of it when i visit my aussy relatations).:slight_smile: :slight_smile:

 

…sheep jokes anyone?

14

New Zealand has never been invaded by another country, no wonder with such a well equipped army!

15

it shall remain that way

16

**An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog.** 

        <p align="left">He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to 
          the Kiwi:

          "G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?"

          Villager: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie."

          Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?"

          Dog: "Yeah, doin' all right."

          Kiwi: (look of extreme shock)

          Ventriloquist: "Is this villager your owner?" (pointing 
          at the villager)

          Dog: "Yep"

          Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"

          Dog: "Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great 
          food 

          and takes me to the lake once a week to play."

          Kiwi: (look of utter disbelief)

          Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"

          Kiwi: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either....I think."

          Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"

          Horse: "Cool"

          Kiwi: (absolutely dumbfounded)

          Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (Pointing at the 
          villager)

          Horse: "Yep"

          Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

          Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, 
          brushes me down often and 

          keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."

          Kiwi: (total look of amazement)

          Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"

          Kiwi: (in a panic) " Don't believe a word he says, that sheep's 
          a bloody liar.."


        <img src="http://www.amazingaustralia.com.au/postcard/pictures/kiwipartycostume.jpg" alt="kiwi party costume" width="400" height="387">**<a href="http://www.amazingaustralia.com.au/postcard/kiwi_postcards.html">

**

17

 

**Helen Clarke, Prime Minister of New Zulland, is rudely awoken at 4am by the telephone. 

          **"Hillen, its the Hilth Munister here. Sorry to bother 
          you at this hour but there is an emergency! I've just received word 
          thet the Durex fectory en Auckland has burned to the ground. It 
          is istimated thet the entire New Zulland supply of condoms will 
          be gone by the ind of the week."

          PM: "Shut - the economy wull niver be able to cope with all 
          those unwanted babies - wi'll be ruined!"

          Hilth Munister: "We're going to hef to shup some in from abroad... 
          Brutain?..."

          PM: "No chence!! The Poms will have a field day on thus one!"

          Hilth Munister: "What about Australia?"

          PM: "Maybe - but we don't want them to know thet we are stuck."

          Hilth Munister: "You call John Howard - tell hum we need one 
          moollion condoms; ten enches long and eight enches thuck! That way 
          they'll know how bug the Kiwis really are!!"

          Helen calls John, who agrees to help the Kiwis out in their hour 
          of need.

          Three days later a plane arrives in Auckland - full of boxes.

          A delighted Hillen rushes out to open the boxes. She finds condoms; 
          10 unches long; 8 unches thuck, all coloured green and gold. She 
          then notices in small writing on each and ivery one......... 

          MADE IN AUSTRALIA - SIZE : MEDIUM


        **Why does New Zealand have some of the fastest race horses 
          in the world? **

          Because the horses have seen what they do with their sheep
18

someone told me that maoris living in auz are called mozzies

19

Why can’t Kiwi blokes take their girlfriends to the Rugby?

They eat all the grass.

20

an aussie is backpacking in NZ on a country road and sees a farmer rooting a sheep and yells" hay mate we shear those in australia. Kiwi yells “fck off im not shearing him with u”