Laugh out loud thread has to be these replies by ‘Silly’ to “This aggression will not stand” thread
"okay heres a guide for dealing with agressive behaviour in the lineup
if you are at your local
as your paddling out start yelling indiscriminately at anything, you know a gannet or a wave .shake your fist and yell at a cloud
yell at your surfboard
after a few minutes of yelling
start staring at dudes
when you finally catch there eye ask them what there looking at
and paddle off
if they go to paddle for a wave
paddle really fast in there direction and past them splashing a bit of water in there face
yell at them for getting in your way .then paddle off
make a point of dropping in on the same guy at least twice each surf
pick a different guy each week
if he says something to you
yell at him
after a couple of hours of this and making everyone miserable
complain how shit the surf is and how you cant understand why theres so many kooks in the water
get out an go to your car
take the four spare tyres out of the boot and change your tyres
drive home
kick your dog
get a beer
touch up the key scrathces on your car
look at the tv for six hours
and sit back and enjoy the smell of your farts"
"ran a few tests today
me and a mate kind of staged an argument
it was 2ft onshore right
and usually all the cool surfers look at it an go
"nah its shit " and we only get waves maybe 4 or 5 times a month
i charge it cuz it keeps me fit and the frankenstein board works realy well
for some reason there was twenty guys out there today
it was carnage and people were getting grumpy
so id just shown this thread to mark before we went surfing
and he was laughing and into it
so anyway
i was getting a few nice ones which is unusual when i surf with mark because he is the paddling equivalent of the Terminator.
(one day he surfed past me as i was paddling out on this point break and then he paddled back out then surfed past me again then paddled back out laughing)
but i picked of a few sets
and then all these guys turned up…
because my mates is a bit of a wave magnet,
people tend to follow him around cuz they think he knows where the next set will break.
so hes getting really iritated, and im getting some waves and he just starts yelling
at me and swearing.
i tell him to F off and start yelling back and paddle off in the direction of the new crew
hes yelling "keep paddling MF "
and im laughing and screaming and few other crew start yelling and laughing
and everyones smiling
it really relieved the tension
cuz its 2 ft and who cares right"
Most informative thread- Burt’s thread on vacuum bagging, followed a close second by ‘Neira’ on longboard repairs.
Most balls award- Carvenalu: taking photos’ while paddling out into 2xoverhead, on a 12’ aircraft carrier no less!
Most inspirational and positive: Kokua
Best sites apart from Swaylocks: Boreriders.com, Surfline, both a LONG way behind Swaylocks!
I think the beauty of this site is that there are soooo many good people on here who are prepared to offer help and advice and inspiration to the others, even when stressed at having their way of life turned upside down by Clark’s closure.
It’ll have to be Oneula, or Silly, or Schwuz, or Dower, or Chipper & Hicksy, or Bert & Greg, or Soulstice, or, well, hell, just about anyone here.