What you seek is attainable, Grasshopper. It is the hidden realm (wait, maybe Realm is not the right choice of words—Costco).
I’ll start over. There are several board makers out there who are making some mullet-rocking, hip-hoppin, kick ass eight + boards. In fact, there’s a dude on this very website making some really cool boards. His name is Greg Hunt. Go to his website: www.huntcustoms.com. The Kind Creation is is a great design. Lots of guys are making shapes like this, and it is, brother, a very fun design. Mine is an 8,2 made by Jim Phillips. It is in the archives, but I’m not sure which number. Just do a search on Jim Phillips and 8,2 and it will come up in the photo archives. It’s such a fun board and so versitile (sp?).
It will get into two foot mushy slop and give me a fun ride. Or, it will ride chest to head high, well-shaped San Onofre and give me a classic seventies ride (figure eight roundhouses). Plus, when the surf gets grindy and hollow, it will get in early and sticks to the wall like nobody’s business, gettin me tube rides that rival Gerry Lopez. Okay, that’s stretching it a bit, but it does tube ride really well. It is the best board I own. I don’t ride it that often, because I still shortboard about 75% of the time (up from about 25% of the time last year, due to the fact that I now have the most magical shortboard I ever owned).
Anyway, it’s an 8,2, pintail, single fin (with a greenough flexfin–key to a great bottom turn), rounded nose, and (this is important) volan glass. I love it. Absolutely love it!
Jim Phillips of Encinitas made it for me. I bought an 8,3E blank from, of course, Clark. I had the nose rocker dropped two inches from center. It’s a flat board, which gets me in early on both mushy AND hollow surf. Jim shaped it better than I could imagine, and Tom eberly put a superb glass job on it. I brag about that board to everyone who asks (and they ask a lot). It’s a work of art.
Sorry about that run on paragraphs. Also try www.cooperfishsurfboards.com and look up the “comet”. That is essentially the same thing, only prettier and with pinched fifty-fifty rails, I think. And Dewey Weber makes a board called the, uh…wait…I forgot. Go to their website and check it out. The nose isn’t rounded, but it’s a good one anyway.
Feather Fastback. That’s what it’s called (Dewey Weber). Good board.
If, however, you are simply looking for an eight foot big guy tri, everyone makes those. They aren’t very impressive and they ride like crap, but some people like them. They are interesting in that they catch waves early, but they don’t turn sharply enough, in my opinion. The boards I was talking about don’t turn sharply either, but they are designed to be ridden from the middle and the nose, but not from the tail as much.
Good luck.