Happy Holidays from the North Pole: Its not often that I use a computer much less write letters, but I feel I must let you all know what has happened to me over the last few weeks. I’ve become increasingly depressed over the last several years due to the plight of the mortal world. Just when it seemed that peace on earth and goodwill to men might actually happen, things took a turn for the worse. No amount of chocolate milk and gumdrops could chear me up. The elf tossing contests no longer brought a smile to by cherry red lips. My Ho, Ho, Ho’s became forced even when Donder did that trick to Blitzen with the spoons. The world had become an especially selfish place…no longer did the children ask, “May I?” it was “Gimme, gimme, gimme.” Religions didn’t help the needy, they exploited them. What happened to the spirit of Christmas? I sent a few of my helpers south to try and find the answer. In their travels, they happened upon a man looking at rocks at the edge of the Artic Circle. They whisked him away, blindfolded, to our frozen keep. The man was a gentle old wise ass whose name I’ve somehow forgotten (it had something to do with old lunch meat or shellfish…I don’t know). I plied him with chocolate chip cookies and I asked him if he knew the true meaning of Christmas. Well, he pondered over it and said, “Swaylock’s, dude.” “And what is Swaylocks?” I asked as he started to stuff cookies into every pocket. “Its like a little cyber north pole run by Santa Mike…check it. Oh, got milk?” It was obvious that this guy was going to be of no further help (damn Mrs. C and her secret ingredients). So I ran down to Data Processing to see if I could dial in this Swaylock’s. I caught Olaf red handed (literally) watching a streaming video of reindeer follocking (so much for parental control and v-chips). To make a long story a little shorter…I hooked into Swaylock’s for a couple of weeks…and yes Virginia, there is Christmas spirit. I can’t think of another place where folks give so freely of themselves for nothing in return. Since I don’t remember getting letters from Jim, Kokua, Havard, Noodle, Matt, Cleanlines, Halcyon, Crabbie and the rest of you, I’ll have to just send you all some head-high, off-shore peaks in the new year. Mr. Dale, some of my height-challenged collegues may be ordering some magic towels. As for Mr. Herb…I think you’ve got everything you need except time and that is out of my department. As for you, little Miss Coral, you should get a week of onshore slop for trying to sit on 15 Santa’s laps in one day, but you make me laugh so I’ll let it go this year. Santa Mike, I wish there was something big enough in my bag for you, but hopefully this letter will encourage everyone to send you little somethings for all your great work. Well, I’ve got to get back to work now. I know there is a little seed out there so keep passing it around. Maybe I’ll run into some of you. I’ll be on a nice round tail Mr. Liddle is wrapping up for me right now… Toys for the worthy, waves by the ton. To all a good night and tomorrow pure fun! Santa
Hey Santa i have a question where the %$@# is my Skill 100 i asked for back in 79 i still have no skill and have to use this green import from clark!!! It’s not fair i want my new planer i was good??? well maybe that mouth of mine gets me in trouble… $&^% i’m sorry Really i am!!! Martha your not a %$&$% Herb your sweetheart to… See i’m trying Santa i am… I hope this e-mail find it’s way to thru all that spam…Rob>>> Happy Holidays from the North Pole:>>> Its not often that I use a computer much less write letters, but I feel I > must let you all know what has happened to me over the last few weeks.>>> I’ve become increasingly depressed over the last several years due to the > plight of the mortal world. Just when it seemed that peace on earth and > goodwill to men might actually happen, things took a turn for the worse. > No amount of chocolate milk and gumdrops could chear me up. The elf > tossing contests no longer brought a smile to by cherry red lips. My Ho, > Ho, Ho’s became forced even when Donder did that trick to Blitzen with the > spoons.>>> The world had become an especially selfish place…no longer did the > children ask, “May I?” it was “Gimme, gimme, gimme.” > Religions didn’t help the needy, they exploited them. What happened to the > spirit of Christmas?>>> I sent a few of my helpers south to try and find the answer. In their > travels, they happened upon a man looking at rocks at the edge of the > Artic Circle. They whisked him away, blindfolded, to our frozen keep. The > man was a gentle old wise ass whose name I’ve somehow forgotten (it had > something to do with old lunch meat or shellfish…I don’t know). I plied > him with chocolate chip cookies and I asked him if he knew the true > meaning of Christmas. Well, he pondered over it and said, > “Swaylock’s, dude.”>>> “And what is Swaylocks?” I asked as he started to stuff cookies > into every pocket. “Its like a little cyber north pole run by Santa > Mike…check it. Oh, got milk?” It was obvious that this guy was > going to be of no further help (damn Mrs. C and her secret ingredients). > So I ran down to Data Processing to see if I could dial in this > Swaylock’s. I caught Olaf red handed (literally) watching a streaming > video of reindeer follocking (so much for parental control and v-chips).>>> To make a long story a little shorter…I hooked into Swaylock’s for a > couple of weeks…and yes Virginia, there is Christmas spirit. I can’t > think of another place where folks give so freely of themselves for > nothing in return. Since I don’t remember getting letters from Jim, Kokua, > Havard, Noodle, Matt, Cleanlines, Halcyon, Crabbie and the rest of you, > I’ll have to just send you all some head-high, off-shore peaks in the new > year. Mr. Dale, some of my height-challenged collegues may be ordering > some magic towels. As for Mr. Herb…I think you’ve got everything you > need except time and that is out of my department. As for you, little Miss > Coral, you should get a week of onshore slop for trying to sit on 15 > Santa’s laps in one day, but you make me laugh so I’ll let it go this > year.>>> Santa Mike, I wish there was something big enough in my bag for you, but > hopefully this letter will encourage everyone to send you little > somethings for all your great work.>>> Well, I’ve got to get back to work now. I know there is a little seed out > there so keep passing it around. Maybe I’ll run into some of you. I’ll be > on a nice round tail Mr. Liddle is wrapping up for me right now…>>> Toys for the worthy, waves by the ton. To all a good night and tomorrow > pure fun!>>> Santa
(it had something to do with old lunch meat or shellfish…I don’t know). I think I know who this is. Thanks brother. Mike
(it had something to do with old lunch meat or shellfish…I don’t know).>>> I think I know who this is. Thanks brother.>>> Mike Santa-sorry I have not sent you a letter, but I will,'Cause I believe!So thanks in advance for the Christmas surf!One final note Mr. Claus-could you send some Christmas cheer Mr. Liddle’s way?He’s suffered a wee bit of an injury, thus will not be able to finish my stick for Christmas(bummer) but more importantly, could you provide him the gift of a speedy and healthy recovery?Thank you! Merry Christmas to all!!
Happy Holidays from the North Pole:>>> Its not often that I use a computer much less write letters, but I feel I > must let you all know what has happened to me over the last few weeks.>>> I’ve become increasingly depressed over the last several years due to the > plight of the mortal world. Just when it seemed that peace on earth and > goodwill to men might actually happen, things took a turn for the worse. > No amount of chocolate milk and gumdrops could chear me up. The elf > tossing contests no longer brought a smile to by cherry red lips. My Ho, > Ho, Ho’s became forced even when Donder did that trick to Blitzen with the > spoons.>>> The world had become an especially selfish place…no longer did the > children ask, “May I?” it was “Gimme, gimme, gimme.” > Religions didn’t help the needy, they exploited them. What happened to the > spirit of Christmas?>>> I sent a few of my helpers south to try and find the answer. In their > travels, they happened upon a man looking at rocks at the edge of the > Artic Circle. They whisked him away, blindfolded, to our frozen keep. The > man was a gentle old wise ass whose name I’ve somehow forgotten (it had > something to do with old lunch meat or shellfish…I don’t know). I plied > him with chocolate chip cookies and I asked him if he knew the true > meaning of Christmas. Well, he pondered over it and said, > “Swaylock’s, dude.”>>> “And what is Swaylocks?” I asked as he started to stuff cookies > into every pocket. “Its like a little cyber north pole run by Santa > Mike…check it. Oh, got milk?” It was obvious that this guy was > going to be of no further help (damn Mrs. C and her secret ingredients). > So I ran down to Data Processing to see if I could dial in this > Swaylock’s. I caught Olaf red handed (literally) watching a streaming > video of reindeer follocking (so much for parental control and v-chips).>>> To make a long story a little shorter…I hooked into Swaylock’s for a > couple of weeks…and yes Virginia, there is Christmas spirit. I can’t > think of another place where folks give so freely of themselves for > nothing in return. Since I don’t remember getting letters from Jim, Kokua, > Havard, Noodle, Matt, Cleanlines, Halcyon, Crabbie and the rest of you, > I’ll have to just send you all some head-high, off-shore peaks in the new > year. Mr. Dale, some of my height-challenged collegues may be ordering > some magic towels. As for Mr. Herb…I think you’ve got everything you > need except time and that is out of my department. As for you, little Miss > Coral, you should get a week of onshore slop for trying to sit on 15 > Santa’s laps in one day, but you make me laugh so I’ll let it go this > year.>>> Santa Mike, I wish there was something big enough in my bag for you, but > hopefully this letter will encourage everyone to send you little > somethings for all your great work.>>> Well, I’ve got to get back to work now. I know there is a little seed out > there so keep passing it around. Maybe I’ll run into some of you. I’ll be > on a nice round tail Mr. Liddle is wrapping up for me right now…>>> Toys for the worthy, waves by the ton. To all a good night and tomorrow > pure fun!>>> Santa Santa I’ve done my best to be good and Hope there’s a pair of electric scissors under the tree this year. Aloha, Kokua
Found this in the Archives…