…an alligator and a chicken go into a bar.
The alligator orders a beer.
The bartender siddles over to the surfer and says, “I’ve never heard a talking alligator.”
The surfer says, “Oy! The 'gator can’t talk! The chicken’s a ventriloquist.”
Nice try Lee V. Probably would be funny to hear you tell it, though. Beer? Good idea. Mike
Aaaahhh, but my point was to get (at last count) 244 people to tell the joke and make at least another 244 people smile. The world needs more smiles this week.
Hey, where’s Proneman?
Funny, I think I know.
Ok! Let’s smile!
It’s well known that people like to make jokes with public personalities. In my country (Brazil) Principals, Governors, and Presidents are our favourite victims. The last one is about a talking between the first lady and the president. She comes and ask him if he knows what leptospirosis is? He thinks a little and then answers: My dear first lady, laptospirosis is a disease people get by using laptops. It’s transmitted by the mouse’s urine.
Jeffshaper, Now that was funny! Mike
a skeleton walks into a bar.
the bartender asks the skeleton what he wants to drink.
the skeleton says “I’ll have a beer…and a mop.”
OH!
Thank you, I’ll be here all week. Don’t forget to tip your waitress.
P.S. Did you know that Abraham Lincoln was Jewish?
Yeah, he was shot in the temple!
OH!
carry on.
Now those are funny
the rimshots too
way to get it done, Shecky
Jeff, yours reminded me of one…not really your joke, but that you posted it. 
An aide comes to President Bush with a very somber look one morning…and says, “Sir, I’m afraid we have some bad news about the coalition. Three Brazillian soldiers were killed in Iraq today.”
President Bush buries his head in his hands and begins to sob violently. His aide, while certainly feeling the appropriate sorrow, wonders a bit about this extreme display of emotion.
Finally, after many, many minutes of crying, the President looks up and asks, “How many is a brazillion again?”
A man walks into a bar and says, “Give me a beer before problems start!” Again, the man orders a beer again saying, “Give me a beer before problems start!” The bartender looks confused. This goes on for a while, and after the fifth beer the bartender is totally confused and asks the man, “When are you going to pay for these beers?” The man answers, “Ah, now the problems start!”
A man goes into a bar with a giraffe, they both get a couple of rounds in. When they get up to leave they’re extremely drunk and the giraffe passes out and falls over. The man opens the door, about to leave by himself, when the bartender stops him suddenly and says, “Hey! You can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The man turns around and slurs, “Don’t be silly, that’s not a lion, that’s a giraffe!”
For the endangered species protectors:
A baby seal walks into a bar. “What can I get you?” asks the bartender. “Anything but a Canadian Club,” replies the seal.
For the country folk:
A dog with his leg wrapped in bandages hobbles into a saloon. He sidles up to the bar and announces: “I’m lookin’ fer the man that shot my paw.”
And for the science geeks:
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender sets the beer down and says, “For you, no charge!”
That’s funny Benny.
Reminds me of a dream I had a while back that actually woke me up laughing. I dreamed I was a Whitehouse intern. There was a group of us milling about when Mr. President, W, enters the room. Everyone was awe struck, oohhing and ahhing. So I, like, kind of look down, and since everyone’s focused on the President, I go, “There were no weapons!” W spins around “Who said that!?” he demands. Everyone shrugs and as soon as he turns again, “There were no weapons!” “Who said that? I demand to know who said that!”
I woke up laughing at my dream. I can’t really remember that ever happening before.
But as I write this I’m thinking… it’s not funny. It’s really one of the biggest tragedies of our times.
There were no weapons.
Quote:
… The world needs more smiles this week.
Word. Ya got more? Anyone?
Safety First!
It has been …0… days since our last politics post.
How was it today? Anything worth anything at SS?
Jank…you in Surfside?
Tell Bob & Keith & the Big Lebowski that Benny said hello. 
Sorry, that’s not a joke. Well, maybe…this one guy really does look like the Big Lebowski…
Not me, I’m in H-town, otherwise known as the Emerald City.
Ozzy’s down there.
greg
PS: Who’re the bums? 
It didn’t look too good, but I had stuff today and couldn’t go. If I could’ve gone it probably would’ve looked better. ha! It’s supposed to build a little, but I might have a worker or two on the clock then and I’ll have to be working on the shop. Catch one for me.