Board design for being a wave hog.

Yesterday I had one of the most frustrating surf sessions ever.  Perfect, peeling, shoulder to head high long period ground swell at my home break.  Air about 40 water in the upper 30s.  6 to 8 people in the water at a spot about half a mile from my house.  Hipster guy and girl paddle out.  Both young and fit.  Both on longboards.  They would sit 20 yards or more outside the peak and paddle like maniacs and be coming at those of us on shortboards like missiles only to get to their feet right where we are sitting on the peak in perfect posision.  I’m talking 20 or more strokes of frantic power paddling before they would pop up when they could have just sat with everyone else and sunk the board taken two strokes and popped up.   Beings as it was a ground swell they’d be out the back again by the time the next set would arrive and do it again.   This went on for close to an hour before I was fed up first making eye contact while purposely paddling underneeth on a collision course with the hipster chick.  A little later I had words with the hipster dude when he did the same thing again.  They disappeared after a shower of f-bombs.  Its freezing cold February in New Jersey and these azzholes are pulling this sheet.  Goddamn I hate hipsters and longboarders who seem to pull this sheet every freaking session these days.  I would have been embarrased to be on a log at their age and still have no desire to be “that guy” even at 46.  

Screw it.  I’m turning over a new leaf.  I’ll save my shortboards for contest heats and heavy days.

I’m old enough now to not give a sheet.  Screw it.  I wanna be the biggest wavehogging azzhole I can be from now on.  Most of the time I surf within a short bike ride of my house I don’t recognize 3/4 of the people in the water since none of them live nearby anyway.  The plan is to build the right board for my new mission in life.  I want a board that I can sit even further out than these hipsters and be to my feet even before they can.  I’m thinking something about 10 feet with a fairly flat rocker, narrow with a pulled in nose and tail.  Perhaps 3.5" thick.  Think super glider.  It doesn’t have to noseride and it doesn’t have to turn.  All I want this thing to do is catch waves realllly early and trim down the line.  Will also be heavily glassed so that I do not have to worry about dinging it if I do happen to run a hipster over (accidently of course).

Any pictures or design ideas would be appreciated.


I really can’t imagine you’ll much enjoy a board built specifically for wave count to the exclusion of surfing the wave.  But if getting in early and going straight down the line is really what you want to do, a Simmons design packs more volume for its length than any other design. The keels out at the rail ensure the board will hold and all that surface area will make it fast down the line.  


One of my sons has a 8-4 Simmons and I’ve seen him beat out SUPs on it.  


He’s also got an 11-2 pig that will picks up the smallest waves and is a rocket in anything above knee high.  





I’ve flagged your post as offensive!!!  I draw the line at SUP!!!  You’ll never get me in the surf on one of thos abominations.  I’m thinking something like this:


get an old windsurfer ($50), remove straps, fill holes, wax up, run dem wavehogging heepsters over.  :slight_smile:



Looking at the 11’3D blank.  Do I go with the natural rocker or a custom rocker?

Already designed the logo to go under the resin tint.


Think Con Ugly.

Geez! That thing is beautiful Mako!

Where’d you snag that pic from?

I have been mind building a glider/gun similar to that one using the 11’8"BG blank… even in my imagined builds though, my glass jobs don’t come out near as nice.

…hello, you have different routes: you can go “small” like Gdaddy is saying or you can go big like you are saying, in that category you can do a 10 6 x 24 x 3 7/8 with the nose and tail as you said with a kick tail.
Use the 109LB “planer” rocker by Arctic. Or you can make a beast (but in my opinion is very difficult to handle right or may be you are a big guy)
1010 x 24 1/2 x 5 similar outline than the other (similar to that photo). Use the 11 3 by Surfblanks Brazil.

Looking at the 11’3D blank.  Do I go with the natural rocker or a custom rocker?

Hope you don’t mind…

Made an “Equalizer” for myself a few years back.

The 11-3 as it sez nets a 10-6 spot on.

Regarding rocker I went with stock rocker.

On the first go out I feared it needed more nose rocker.

Haven’t pearled yet!

Paddles great and is quite fast.

The only problem is slowing down coming in!

Here’s some shots…

Here’s a rough outline cut on a big one I made awhile back.  I ordered the blank with the offset stringer cuts done at the factory but glued up my own stringers…

I have it set for 2+1 or single fin.

It’s a lot of board but in smooth conditions I’ve ridden it up to 2XOH.  If I had planned to ride it in medium to large size waves I likely would have slimmed it and thinned it out a bit.  The rocker and overall rail foil design is OK.




You are to be commended for not letting the douchebaggery of others cause you to escalate to the height of douchebaggery and use an SUP to hog waves.

I often find myself in similar situations with younger noobs who paddle from way outside on a longboard and engage in greedy, impolite ways. Most often, the only thing thay can do once up is stand in one spot and go straight. At best they might do what vaguely resembles a turn. Cutbacks? Nope. Walk to the nose? Nope. They own a longboard but don’t know how to use it.

My “longboard” is an 8’0". I can knee paddle it. I sit deep and right on the peak. If I take more than three strokes to catch a wave I feel like I’m wasting energy. I  will take off behind these clowns and call them off at every chance.  If they complain I just tell them to go back where they came from. I was surfing these spots before they were born. Screw 'em.

I will quit surfing before I ever use a boat and a paddle to ride waves. Boating is not surfing.

That is a very nice outline Mr. Mellor. I love long shapes with continuous curve, no parallel lines. I dig where you put the hips too. Looks like a real racer. Ace, (Mr. Elliot) has a nice long/glider outline as well. Not that easy to do on such a long shape. I would tell Mako to take a long look at those hips. THAT is a bit of the proverbial “secret sauce”.

Very nice John.  ACE’s glider was a thing of beauty!  He also had one he called the “SUP Revenge”, same concept as the O.P.  Might search the archives for that one.

wait … you had a problem with aggresive azzholes in new jersey…would never have thought that would happen… 

might want to prioritize flat rocker over length…


If you haven’t started yet, you may want to think about the midsize up to 8’ and thick. Like SammyA, I prefer my longboard in the 8’ range. Thicker for better paddling, but with thin rails for better surfing. If it’s head high you’d want to be able to turn and ride all over the wave, not just set the rail and run. A 10+ big board may not allow you the freedom to turn quick and easy.

Some of the things we do here. Call out the a–holes who try to catch every good wave every set, you can go right up to them and tell them straight. If you have a buddy or two you can block them and let someone else get a wave. Take turns being the one that catches the wave. They’ll eventually get it and either leave or slow down some. 

Either way, bad vibes in the water is not good. It will affect everything including the ocean. I’ve seen it with my own eyes. A perfect day with good waves, and everyone having a good time. Then someone comes out being a “donkey” that’s what we say, donkey. Then the waves start slowing down, sometimes the lulls get real long. It brings everyone down.

Watch this clip of George Downing talking about bad people like that.


My hometown spot has become totally zooed out, so I just go to another spot where I can surf by myself - sucks but you gotta do what you gotta do - BUT I also went to Costco and bought one of those $100 Storm Riders and occasionally go back to my old spot and create holy hell - that board can catch anything, as early as most longboards.