Great Balls of Fire

I got the neighbor’s kid into surfing. He was a natural and got up on the board the first time I took him out at Waikiki. The faces were about 5-6 feet and he held his own. For the sake of this story, I’ll refer to him as Jim.

Jim is a college student and plans to attend Law school after he gets his under graduate degree. He is a naturally gifted athlete and pretty much catches own to any physical activity pretty fast. He watched me glass a few boards but only for a short time each. He would get bored quickly and find something else to do.

Getting hooked on surfing, Jim wanted a long board. I explained to him the basics steps involved with surfboard construction. I even loaned him the Master Glasser DVD. He purchased a blank from Aku Bird Foam (Surf blank Australia) and we got Charlie Wong to shape him a 9’4” performance long board.

The board got shaped and it sat in rafter racks for several months. Jim got distracted and lost interest. I pushed him to get his board glassed and even offered to supply him with the fiberglass cloth. (I had some extra 6 and 4 oz. cloth.) He spent several afternoons designing his graphics to place on the board. His Dad being from Thailand, he designed a logo with Thai elephants.

Being a bright college student and watching the Master Glasser DVD several times, Jim was ready to laminate. We decided to glass his board with UV PE resin. He did a nice job trimming the cloth. When we started to laminate, he started questioning my squeegee technique. He said I was supposed to do cross strokes and later make long strokes along the length of the board and working from the center to the rails. I started laughing and asked him, “Where did you learn that?” He said he learned that from the DVD. I laughed even louder and said that was for brush strokes for hot and finish coats.

We continued and I squeegee one side of the board and he did the other side. As he moved the resin, he was flicking it off of the rails instead of pooling the resin and allowing it to saturate the rails. As he flicked, some of the resin splashed on his shorts. We continued laminating and a few minutes he just stopped moving his squeegee. He had a look of pain on his face. I asked him what is wrong. He said, “My balls are on fire!” Apparently the resin soaked through his shorts and got to his scrotums. “Aren’t you wearing underwear”, I asked? He said no and just wanted to run off to the shower. I told him that he could leave in the middle of a glass job. He didn’t care. He ran to my shower and washed off. He was later calling my daughter to get him a pair of shorts. I managed to fight my laughter and finished the lamination. He later returned with a fresh pair of shorts and I let him inspect the rails, laminate the dry spots and take the board into the sunlight for drying. Despite all that major drama, the lamination came out pretty good.

Moral of the story: (for newbies) listen carefully to your mentors and please wear underwear when glassing.


So hilarious Dennis…

But then again UV does get pretty hot when it kicks.

almost melted the bottom off my surftech when I was making my countour mat…

I remember those crazy don’t know any better days

when I dumped a whole bottle of catalyst into a pint of resin for my hot coat only to have it catch on fire in the pot while I was mixing it. Now that was a hot coat…

I feel sorry for the kid…

but the rule is

you always wear underwear

even surfing

seen many a big blahlah wimper after having a box jellyfish or portugese man-o-war slide down someone’s bare balls surfshorts and latch on to his john henry or his jewels… Can’t even imagine the pain probably the same as this kid’s…

Oh yes, I forgot all about Man-of-wars. Learning to surf on the Windward side, man-of-war stings were a daily occurrence. I was luck and never had one slide down my shorts, however, that would definitely get my attention!

When you got them by the balls, the hearts and minds will follow. Needless to say, Jim was humbled by the entire experience. I got a lot more cooperation from him when we glassed the deck.



we get a lot of man-o-war out this way. had a number of less than pleasant experiences. urine helps to neutralize the burning, but when you get one in the shorts, you’re outta luck…it’s tough to pee on your own ween.

That sounds worse than the sea liice in costa Rica!!!

Quote:'s tough to pee on your own ween.

tough… yes, but it beats asking someone else to do it :slight_smile: ick.


That is a funny story, Uncle D. I was wondering where you were going with it. Hopefully, he’ll learn to be more attentive. Been stung by jellyfish,but never a man o war. Tough to pee on your own ween? Just lay on your back and let it fly. Not that I"ve tried it or anything. Around here one of the great joys is peeing in your wetsuit on a cold day. I ‘save it’ until I get in the line-up. Mike

Hee hee hee!!! I had UV resin go on my jeans when I was doing my first board. It started burning my skin before it went off… Can’t imagine my nuts getting it though!! Classic story Uncle D!

[b]Re: Great Balls of Fire”

‘sandgroper’ doesn’t have to worry …his wife cut[b] his off years ago [once they had had their 3.5 [or whatever the statistic has to be ] kids …“you won’t be needing THESE…snip …”

[or , to quote Basil Fawlty…

…"you’d have to sew them back on first , ‘dear’ " ]