We do love it when someone says, "you cant make that (whatever it is) board!" We truly relish the challenge of upstaging and defeating the lock-stepping soldiers of gross ignorance! Be it said that our Fat Penguin is THE MOST important surfboard design ever to be created- by clear-thinkng Austarlian men no less! Greatly advanced beyond anything ever conjured by Dick Brewer or George Greenough. If you dont believe us now, youll be forced to believe us later! We are proud to make these claims because of our superior knowledge and skill in progressing this breakthrough design: at least 30% faster, stonger, more manuverable, wont stall in the juice, loves verticle maneuvers and take offs! It will also maneuver inside tubes. Also very easy to duckdive and paddles onto waves with almost no effort! “WHY NO FAT PENGUIN ACTION PHOTOS?” the skeptics ask? Becuase photography cant do justice to the Fat Penguins blinding bursts of speed or incredible manavering! Believe it or not! We also provide detailed plans for a mere fraction of the normal dollar amount! But stay tuned, more`s coming your way soon enough!!! http://www.geocities.com/wunderboyi/frontpage.html?1058601999800
Hey idiot, Nobody here cares what the fuck you build. JUST SELL IT SOMEWHERE ELSE. Get the hell out of here and don’t come back. I mean it.
Hey give us the Phone number of the chick in the website… I’ll give her a fat penguin! http://www.speedneedle.com.au
looks like a quiver of DR. SUESS boards. We are all laughing AT YOU! And please quit trying to disease the surfboard industry with something so silly.
i like joshs reply best
I may be dumb, see, but I’m stupid. That’s why my password is “loser” I’m going to bend over now, and when I do, start drivin’ everybody! Please, sir, may I have another!! I mean it!
It’s always been a pleasure to browse through the Swaylock Design discussions. I certainly don’t agree with everything presented from surf culture, shaping, glassing schedules, materials, fin systems, fins, and the other topics of interest. Nonetheless, it’s enjoyable and informative to see what so many of my fellow surfers are doing with their surfboards and surfing. It’s unfortunate that Mr Emmerton has chosen to "spam’ Swaylocks with his narcissistic posts. I previously posted a sarcastic yet polite response to one of his posts that, in hindsight, I regret posting. Like so many maladies that effect us, I believe he will just fade away if we simply ignore him and collectively stop posting responses to his posts.
hoax, idiot, whatever, i will hold my judgement until after i see this fat bird in action, so come on emmerton, let’s see some footage…
Thank you Vince .
The fat penguin and its promoter Paul Cole seem to have dropped from the scene this year after several years of trying to get it going. His website is shut down, but there are several other info sites that still contain info on this board. As to T.Emmerton, he knows the Fat Penguin site has ceased to exist and is now playing Troll games on this site with that tidbit of info played close to his vest. here is a Fat Penguin info site: http://www.surfinfo.com.au/b_pages/weirdboards.htm It seems Paul Cole went through a phase of trying to promote this design and then having failed that trying to sell plans for do-it-yourselfers for a while, then vanished off the internet. Looking at the design, its hard to imagine what they would be like to ride, except to note that its probably not like a thruster, which you can surf either off the tail or a mid position, surfing off the rail you can do floaters and aerials, then surfing off the nose when you land to complete 360’s. Its seems easy conjecture that the Fat Penguin was not this type of board. As to Emmerton , Keep it up boy!
Fat penguin? Dude, who are you trying to sell your boards to? These guys are all shapers and one wannabe shaper (me). They aren’t going to buy your boards. They certainly aren’t going to buy do-it-yourself plans. Hell, this aint home depot. Plus, it looks like a regular pintail that someone glued boogie board foam to. Now, I’m not saying that the board isn’t a great breakthrough design. Heck, it could be bigger than the tri fin. But how would we know? Where is the VIDEO footage? You have to back it up with results. I thought the Surftechs were lame, but yours looks worse. But here’s a little piece of advice. Scrape together a couple hundred grand (or more) and hire Andy Irons, Kelly Slater (a lot more) or some other top ten surfer to ride your board, win about three contests in a row on the Fat Penguin. Then your board will sell like hotcakes (or as they probably say in Australia) vegemite hotcakes. Another thing, let’s try a better name. How about the Chubby Stubby, or the Sick Dick, or the Piece of Crap. Show a video and sell to people who might buy it.