As I’m sure most of you know, surfing’s set to become an Olympic sport in the 2020 Tokyo Olympic Games.
Personally I’m against this.
When I made mention of the fact, it turned out I was not alone in my feelings on the subject.
How then, if a goodly proportion of surfers are against this happening, did it come about?
Who, someone wondered, would have the incentive to push for such a thing?
A moment’s thought, and some fairly obvious suspects leapt to mind.
However after stumbling on this article earlier today, it turned out that while I was in the ballpark in my estimates as to who was responsible for putting surfing into the Olympics,…
How did surfing get into the Olympics ? That’s common knowledge !
The previous president, Juan Antonio Summer-Ranch was the only goofy foot on the IOC board for many years.
And for all those years he pushed and pushed to get surfing on the Olympic menu so he could strike gold in the 100 years and older Division but the other members of the board fucked him over because he demanded the forehand advantage by holding events only at Pipe, Chopes and North Narrabeen.
And the rest of the IOC crew said " Nah, fuck that man, you’re taking this shit way too seriously, but secretly they were scared that Juan was the actual ‘Juan Kempes’ Hellman from the 70’s who was the first to go right at Pipe way back when .
Now it may seem odd to you and me that anyone can get the gig as Head of the I O C without a proper surfing resume, but that’s how it really is with these guys. They play fast and loose at the best of times.
And then for the last 40 years the IOC board were spooked about paddling out and being shown up as flatulent old longboarders with Juan keeping his surfing skills under wraps… except for the odd ‘surgical strike’ with Tom Carroll and RCJ when the BOM called in a big blow. Official records show that Juan Antonio was always MIA for any Olympic fund raising chook raffles when the Pacific buoys went troppo. Then finally Juan hooked up with this Bintang Princess last season and he said to the IOC board, " Dudes, this is IT for me, I’m hanging with this one, she’s like a crazy eel in the sack, surfs better than all you old fags, so I’m out ! Drop mic… Now with Juan out of the way the crusty IOC crew have gone “Fuck yeah, now that crafty bastards out of the way, lets make this deal legit and we can finally roll the ASP / ISP / WSL / ISA / GLBTGC as the leading global surf comp, appoint Slats as Prez and then its chicks, hummers and hot ones all day long !” And that my friends is how surfing got into the olympics…
Surfoils , my opinion of how surfing got in the Olympics was far far more cynical , but I like your insightful explanation much better , it is certainly both more entertaining and realistic than that fantasy Stabmag expected us to swallow , by the way do you happen to know where Juan and his crazy eel are hanging now I understand the IOC have a little extra cash laying around that they want to pass on Juan to keep his trap shut , although I can,t imagine that the IOC would have anything to cover up , not with they’re sparkling white reputation .