I've Just Invented Fake Wood

Messing around in the lab.  Couldn’t find the recipe for this in the archives.  Probably there, just me.  But, I was driven to find the answer and would not be stopped.  And too anxious to wait for others to help.  And too cheap to buy Glassing 101.  So I put on my wife’s white lab coat to ensure accuracy and went to work.    I taped up the center line for the stringer I wanted to hide (more on that later), I took some acrylic paints from Michaels as shown in the photo and squirted them in sort of a thin braided pattern, just a little will do, then took a stiff paint brush about 1 inch wide and without stopping ran the length of the tape. Came out all grainy.  Like balsa.  I call it “falsa”.  Get it?  (Yes, I know).  Worked surprisingly well.  I’d love to hear some tips from the experts.

 

This is perhaps the ugliest SUP in the known universe.  Still a lot of work to do.  I have been trying to yank it out of the fire for abot 6 months.  One step forward and two steps back.  I had to put a balsa deck on it because the 1 pound EPS was too soft to stand on.  Three layers of 6 with  deck patch.  Still soft.   But no more with the balsa deck.  And it is very very light.  I have to put a brick on it when its windy.

The little oval on the deck is for the vent.  It really needs it.  I had one on it before and went I released the vent, big whosh of an exhale.  But the shape is true and I have learned not to hit people intentionally with the paddle.

 

Next I’m going to invent the  multiple fin surfboard.  Maybe use three of them.  Not sure what I’ll call it until I see how much thrust I can get out of them.

hey let me know when you get that fake surf thing down pat

the beaches are all over crowded already from what I hear here

then we can go out and do some fake surfing on our fake wood surfboards

i got some fake wood too but its called "chromaveil teak" from fiberglast

as long as we're having fun is all that matters faking it...

 

oops

isn't that faking stuff going to happened for 50% of those out there having fun tonight too?

geez I completely forgot about that one

but then we I guess we started it all with our "fake wood"

pump or pill?

I’ve painted divinycell stringers to make them look like wood. I tape off the stringer, then take a couple of different shades of cabinet glazing - one light and one dark - and shake them up real good. I pop the lids off, and just use what’s left on the lid. No waste whatsoever. I take a coarse bristle brush, the round kind, and dip the brush into both glazings - try to dip half the brush in one color and half the brush in the other. Then pull the brush down the stringer, slowly rotating it so you get that grainy effect, with the darker shades gradually running off the stringer like real wood grain. It sort of looks like a resin swirl, with the different colors staying distinct, but very natural next to each other. Only people who know wood can tell it’s not real.

If you do it and it looks bad, just wipe it off and do it again. It’s easy.

NJ, great idea. where do you get the glaze?

Sent from my phone where spelling doesn’t count.

Whoahuau,

Great thought about fake surfing.

Let’s do that in front of the webcam wavespies.

Get all hungry webcam lurkers moving on the flat days.

Time for a fake wood surfboard to surf fake.

And on the good days, put your underpants over the cam and whip it up, alone.

Everybody real tired of fake smurfin’.

And then for the real stone look.

Do it with a brush, sponge and paint roller.

Dig in your rails and the beach looks like a graveyard…!!!

Greg:

 

very cool board.  What are those colors again?

 

Oneula:  How is working with chormaveil?  I wanted to purchase some but it is a bit steep.  Purhaps we can get together and split a 10 yard roll.  I screwed up on an 11 ft. board and part of the deck needs to be covered up.

 

Mahalo,

 

D

Bernie, ok that was funny.  And Fake surfing may have  a future.  I could qualify for nationals with a little work.

 

UncleD, hey.  I have color issues with my eyes so I just took a big piece of balsa to  Michaels art store and had the girl pick out three colors.  Light tan, tan, and a brownish color.  Looks better in person.  But the Green and yellow stripes hide some hideous pigment color.  At least I think it does, can't tell actually with my eyes.  Ha.

I just had a thought that could usher in a new era of surfboard construction: WMD Compsand construction, using recycled veneer panels from 70s station wagons for the deck! Why paint fake wood when pieces of it can be peeled off of crushed vehicles from a bygone era?

… then again maybe some ideas are best left in the auto wreckers. Looks pretty sweet greg!

Dennis

actually I bought the granite version instead of the wood

I thought a board that looked like it was made out of stone might stir some conversation in the line up.

i could call it my concrete surfboard like those concrete canoes.

I haven’t tried it yet

looks just like glass not that felt stuff marlee is selling…

you want it?

i don’t know how much I have but I’ll check.

let me know