Dorks line up on the right side…all will be counted…DS
The Kook Mandate will be available for viewing when completed. We may as well start with the most important rule…Rule #1
Rule #1…Pearl on takeoff. This is less kooky than it was before leashes. The kick back with a leash made it less dangerous for others around us. I’m disappointed that the inception of the surf leash infringes on our kookiness, but there are other advantages using new technology…like Rule #2.
Rule #2: When paddling out ALWAYS bail off your board without regard to anyone that might be directly behind you. This is important to do regardless of wave size. Use a leash that is long enough to stretch a great distance adding greater peril to those in your wake. A super long leash is preferable in order to take out more multiple pddlers behind you.
OH well, we’ve got some steam up, so let’s proceed.
Rule#3: Focus totally on your takeoff (before pearling) with out any regard for any riders that may already be up and riding. Surfers closest to the curl are insignificant, and there is no real rule for right of way. Just go ahead and do your thing, most people these days will make some effort to avoid you. Miki is dead.
Rule #4: Arm style is important. Flailing arms work well with general thrashing about. The whole package comes together exceedingly well when combined with an unusually wide stance aka Stinkbug position. Remember, Retro is in.
Rule#5: Talk a big game. Confidence is important to have in the sport of surfing. And, as with fisherman, we need to have colorful stories that lend to our sport and individual status. EPac said I had stories, and believe me, I certainly do. There is no place for a surfer that is factual and accurate…or is that acurrate?
Rule #6 Board awareness: It is highly regarded to swing your board quickly and without warning in small spaces and around many other surfers. Good places to do this are narrow beach stairs with or without railing. It is also good to practice this in surfshops were you can take out unsuspecting employees and tourists. Bigger is better with this rule…meaning a 12 footer old man’s stick will be much more effective than a Kelly Slater shortie.
That’s it for now…but I invite everyone that is a newly joined kook to please feel free to add to the mandate at your earliest convenience.
Cowabunga guys n gals…that includes American Indians too.