Miki Dora J-Bay contest

Hi all,

Do you remember when Mr Dora wanted to organize a competition on J-Bay? He wanted all contestants to:

A. Handmake their own board personally

B. Produce them environmentally friendly [nature had to be able to recycle this board without leaving shit behind]

C. Ride the wave for as long a distance as possible

The contestant who would go farthest with such a board was to be the winner.

Now… Anno 2004:

HOW would you make that board? What material would you use to:

  1. Make the core ?

  2. Laminate [if laminating is your option] ?

  3. Make and place the fins ?

  4. What sort of grip would you use ?

HOW would you design the board?

  1. Rocker

  2. Bottom contours

  3. Rails

  4. Fins

  5. Foil

It has been long ago that he ever thought of it, and to my knowledge it never happened.

Why do YOU people think that is ???

Give it your best shot guys!

Here are the parameters as outlined by Miklos S. Dora:

Miklos S. Dora retains total control.

To take place at Jeffries Bay, South Africa, with a minimum size of 8’.

A refundable reliability bond of $200.

All entry monies matched by Miklos S. Dora.

No judges, only a few official referee-estimaters.

A down-the-line speed test, going for distance. Point A to point B, the longest distance in the fastest time.

Must ride for at least 200 yards.

All applicants must contruct their own equipment from start to finish, with written notations on the entire procedure.

Video of the important steps in the production are required as a reference for authentication.

All equipment must be ozone friendly and biodegradable.

Absolutely no petrochemical products may be used in any of the construction.

No fluorocarbons or other harmful chemical processes.

Nothing that might affect the physical growth and development of natural organisms.

Board length cannot exceed 9’-6".

The tail must square off at 10".

Single fin only.

No logos whatsoever, and no endorsements.

No artificial devices to help keep the rider from slipping- wax only.

No colors.

Only natural fibers may be worn by the rider. No visible labels, no wetsuits, boots, gloves, etc.

No leg ropes.

All subsidies, aid, support, patronage, endowments, donations or sponsorships must be privately obtained with written proof.

No government monies involved in any way, whether state, local or federal.

No substance testing.

No tents, food stalls, rock music, T-shirts, judging stands, bull horns, groupies, pretenders, etc.

Every entrant is entirely responsible for their own entity.

No disputes, one victor.

The real outcome of that event, were it to take place, if he were alive, would run like this: (Announcer’s Voice).

We are here at the first annual Miki Dora J-Bay Contest. Unfortunately, the ninety people who paid to enter won’t get a chance to compete because Miki Dora took off with their money. He is now, once again, living in France and sponging off more people while thumbing his nose at the so-called establishment. Furthermore, there are reports that he is still complaining about the crowds at Malibu that HE created. Plus, he is continuing his tradition of throwing kooks’ surfboards onto fire pits and then leaving before the kook has a chance to confront him and beat his brains in. And current reports also suggest that much of his nose riding talent was due to the fact that he was the size of the average woman. Finally, you are encouraged to check your wallet for missing credit cards. It seems that not only is he engaged in credit card fraud, but you have been suckered into believing that Miki Dora was anything besides just being a great surfer. It is this reporter’s opinion that Miki Dora could ride the nose better than anyone, but outside of that he was a jerk with a bad attitude.

May he rest in peace

taking responsibility for your own opinion rather than assigning your opinion to an anonymous announcer is an interesting dodge.was this intentional? or evidence of being victimized by a dora prank…at the point in time where you hear that the existance of the easter bunny and santa claus and the farm for old dogs to live out their days is in question you have the choice to live out your days a disgruntled no easter basket no extra present at christmas and complicitous in the execution of a loyal family pet. Hypothetical contests were a favorite puzzle quest for not only MCD ( letters coopted and promoted to meaninglessness by corperate clothing manufacturer) but many olympic quality trained surfing atheletes i.e. non participants in contemporary contest not acceptable formats…the donation of money to a political party is less respectable than buying lunch for dora at his whim…iconification is not for everyone if you wish to believe in an alternative reality you are an easy hit for detractors … theory and hypothetical contest formats have a long history counterpointing the hypercommercial rush that, exclusive of greg noll’s “DORA MODEL”, was to be held responsible for a greater effect on the participant buldge of the sixties ,GIDGIT >ANNETTE< MOON DOGGIE yours and mine in heart though denial of influence is convienient ,did you ride a bob purvy model ugly or what dora rode ,a yater? belief systems are personal and emotionally defended dora was COOL much else is not…Miles Davis.Dizzy Gillespie,Humphrey Bogart, Jimmy Durante ,all emotionally linked ,for some weepy memories if you dont share these feelings you could be pittied in some circles as one with no dreams or exaulted ideals beyond human nature … I’ll still take you out surfin’ behind the house and give you a wave to see if its appreciated or wasted on a faulty criterion…snodgrass would win the contest and dora would laugh in the face of the kuks who complained…dora makes me weep…ambrose…do we share the misunderstanding he endured

Fairmont right on! Whiles he was an intresting character ,he was a total fraud. The very media he critisized perpetueted his myth. Of course he knew that and manipulated it to that end. The “Da Cat” was a rip-off of Rennie Yaters “Spoon”. He didn"t even do a good of copying the design as Da Cats were notoriously poor riders. I’ve learned to appreciate certain surfers (both lesser known and media types) over the years stricty for their uniqueness. Dora fits into that category. He probably never built a board from start to finish, was always riding some body elses boards and was not EVEN environmentaly sensitive. But, even people that had no use for him would get a twisted smile on their face at the mention of his name. McDing