Roy's trip to Hawaii

Greetings to all,

Having investigated the possibility of getting to Hawaii on a freighter, we have discovered that this is impossible . . . . although freighters can carry up to 12 passengers (there are 12 of us) they cannot carry children.

Therefore we must make the trip via cruise ship

This will be likely to cost more than the few hundred dollars so far pledged by the Swaylock’s crew, so we have a plan for raising the money.

The plan is that Swaylock’s members invest all their spare dosh in Summit Resources Ltd, an Australian mining company (SMM on the ASX Australian stock exchange). Summit shares have increased 500% in the year that I have had mine, and are due to rise again sharply during the next couple of months .

After Swaylock’s crew make themselves a fat profit on SMM, then we accept generous donations from said profits for the upcoming visit.

We plan also to come during the summer months, and surf Waikiki, while staying on board ship.


Mining companies usually arn’t very good for the enviroment Roy, how did you get on that boat?

Hi Rhino,

I am in favour of nuclear energy, Summit mines uranium.

Not really a surfing subject, apologies for bringing it up, just a poor joke from down under.


10 kids aren’t very good toi the environment either!


Ten kids is a beautiful thing. Hard on the environment? Depends on what kind of human beings they grow up and become. Kind of hard on Mom I bet.Mike

Cool beans man.

The question is what kind of boards are you bringing?

10 kids aren't very good toi the environment either!

From what we’ve seen of Roy’s family lifestyle, their impact on the planet is much less than the typical 2 kid california family.

Well said, Slim. Mike

Everything I have got, plus some new ones !


Thanks Slim and Rooster !

We hope that you are correct.


sweet . …

nuclear energy . . . disposing of spent rods . . . as a kid (well I’m still a kid, just a bigger kid) I read about a national geographic article . . . and saw this pic of an immense pool (it looked like several football fields in length and 100 meters plus deep, with a two guys in suits and a inflatable white raft like thing floating. The water was the bluest I’ve seen . . . until I saw pics of Hawaii. But nuclear energy industry does make an effort to recycle all of its by products and spent rods

10 kids . . . wow thats cool . . . also that you bring your family with you . . . the cruise ships allow you take an olo on board?

I didn’t know they had cruise ships running from Kiwiland to Pineappleland.

What’s the projected price of this voyage?

Hopefully equal to or less than the available funds

Which are presently in the 3 figure category

We need more zeros


what about paddling your olos to hawaii ?

or a few ultralights [disposable type airborne tricycles]

…now THAT would be a trip you’d remember for a while , eh ?


check THESE out , Roy …options !

another , for water landings …

I reckon , on this one …

… you could probably come up with a way of using two of your tiny “stubby” boards [say, the 12’ers , maybe?] and somehow hinge them together end to end or something , so you could use THEM for wings …

wait a minute …

here’s a thought , Roy !!

…if you made a TRIplane ultraheavy/light , you could then use half your quiver or so [well, at least SIX boards?] for the wings …quiver transportation problem solved !

…I guess you would fly six or seven of your kids in yours , and your wife could take the remaining football team’s worth in her triplane “ultralight”

… Sound like a plan ?

glad to be of help , mate !


oops ! silly me …

I nearly forgot the most important detail . [Sorry about that] …

…now you just need to develop a shrink ray gun , to reduce the size of all of you , your boards , and the stewart triplane ultrlights [no fokkers for this voyage , eh ?!] , so you can take off , fly , and land undetected at auckland and honolulu and any intermediate airports you may feel the need to visit on the way .

" ‘dragon’ and roy’s excellent adventure " … maybe when we all buy the dvd of it , that will cover all your trip’s costs , eh ?!


Better yet two other options:

Why not make one of those custom surf craft of yours, make it about 65 ft. put a mast in the middle of it, and sail it to hawaii. Put some lawn chairs in the middle of it, and go in style! What better way to show the world the speed of your craft, you’ll be there in no time!

Or take Bens shrink ray option, (I like this option better, it has more mojo!) shrink you, your family, and the ultra light planes to the size of barbie dolls…nothing smaller than that. Reason: At this size you can still fight off cats and the occasional Mongoose, while keeping speed and agility to cross major road way intersections I recommend using #2 pencils as weapons, they can be fashioned into spears, or dropped as bombs from your ultra lights…(just looking out for your safety) Take some of that fancy mining stuff and make a small nuclear reactor, attach it to you 18ft board as a propulsion unit. Now you have a carrier based assault system that is capable of dominating the South Pacific. Think of all the small islands you could conquer along the way! You can now have more childern, and leave them on the islands to colonize the South Pacific. Just think of it, Roy Atoll, Roy Island, Roy Reef, Roy Pass, etc…MR. CHRISTIAN!!!..Once you arrived in Hawaii, you can drop anchor right between Lani’s and Holton’s. You could fly you air assault team to get supplies at the local ACE hardware to make repairs on your carrier, or Food Land Market for fresh friuts and nuts. Just think one banana would feed the family for days,…cheap trip.

Good ideas right! Have fun in Hawaii, I bet all the guys look forward to seeing your board in the lineup. I’m a big fan of Sunset. Do me a favor and paddle the big board to the peak and take off on a nice 6-10ft Hawaiian bomb. I bet it will go like a bat out of hell, and above all, don’t forget the helmet!


the quick sliver trawler should be right

about the size for yall.

them guys could get enough photos

and their gas bill could handle…

just a thought.

contact their agency

and sell em the package.