surfing with ladies....

ah…that’s the best kind of wedgy …although surely not many young english girls get around in ‘thongs’ [ocean going G-strings] in THAT water temperature you get there in merry ol’ [cold] England…are you talking about france , australia , or hawaii perhaps ??

Another kind of ‘wedgy’ …aka “hardon” … baby maker , firm trouser snake , red eye express …I’ll leave it there , I think .

Meanwhile , in America , a "Fanny " of course would be the bottom / posterior / derriere , bum …those guys have it backwards …once one of those pumped up seppo tele-evangelist guys came to Perth for one of those ‘crusades’ they do , and said , "okay, thanks people …you can all lower your fannies now " [meaning I guess , you can be seated ] .

All the blokes pissed themselves …80 % of the women there blushed …the with it ones giggled naughtily . [Funniest thing was , no-one whispered in his ear …the guy STILL probably to this day doesn’t know why everyone laughed !]

…ah , semantics …source of merriment for us Aussies for centuries .

My surf ‘mate’ [I <span style=“font-style:italic”>wish</span>…in the TRUE sense of the word !] “Mmmm” is a home fix-it / landscape gardener lady …I won’t even BEGIN to tell you the conversations we had about her shed , tools , grinding …

time to go surfing , now , I think …hope there’s waves …I’m getting distracted here …

ben

edit …yep , I got waves …guess who with ??

…oh man , now I’m even MORE distracted !! [luckily for me , but not for her, the water was cold …could have put a whole new spin on the aussie catchcry "go hard or go home " …]

Different Stevo Chip, I’m as Aussie as your good self, can’t believe you picked up

the Scottish accent, apparently I left there when I was 6 months…

I’m from Newcastle and’ve never heard the term Wedgey to describe a Fat before…

must be a West Oz thing?

By the way, despite your thoughts, I went with the pro-glasser on board number 4.

It was the quick and painless option, cost me $180AUD, but it came up better than

I could have hoped. I just wanted this one to be finished to A1 quality as the shape

had most of the deisgn problems corrected of the first three. Will send a few pics ASAP.

Cheers Stevo.

I look forward to seeing the shots of your board .

I hope you meet up with the other newcastle swalocks crew there for a surf or three [hundred ]

catchya mate !

ben

…Funny this subject has come to time …here.

…I surf from time to time with Jerrico Poppler,back in the 80s she was preg. w/ first child(I believe) …SHE SURFED UP INTO HER 8th MONTH…Now , I surf with Jeri’s daughter ,alot…Rachel who’s about 18 or so now(excuse my bad name spelling,spelling is my worst problem during sober-moments of clarity)…cute thing, rach is…she can surf like her mama and has a tude to match…that is if you get crossed w/ her.

…Just surfed with Jerrico last week,she still rips it up,and ain’t afraid of the boyz neither.Herb

…The 4th horseman that can’t stay up in the dang saddle…ouch,now where did that spirited philly go?

yep, must be a WA thing Stevo, i surf Newcastle and i knew what you were saying. i shudder when i think of wedgies though, i still remember kids from my class in year 7 getting hoisted high in the air by 4 year 10 kids with only their underwear elastic holding them up. it generally got worse from there too and we had to go past them to get to the shop. i was lucky, i had an older brother with a known reputation.

 Howzit Herb, Good to see you got some time on the computer. I'm friends with Jerrico's brother Peter. I can see Jerrico surfing well into a pregnancy, after Peter telling me some stories from their childhood and how their Dad was some what of a hellman and the trips they took you can be sure Jerrico has inheirited some of her Dad's wild ways. Have a Lady friend on Maui that had a concave deck board built so she could surf while pregnant and she went into 8 months also. Aloha,Kokua

if “Mmmm” gets wind of the fact that an innocent post of mine [?] led to a discussion on how many months pregnant a woman can surf for , chances are , I’LL be riding a “concaved deck” board soon …courtesy of the grinder she repeatedly mentions in our surfs !

ben

keep it up though [oops] guys …these are some GREAT stories . Glad to hear Jericho Poppler still surfs and well …

Kokua…

     Peter,

I remember him as a talented surfer.Tell him Bob Loos and Herb say hi.

He might not remember us,but we were the groms that use to give him a run for his money.

Computer time is very,very limited to me until I get a new one.

Man time goes by fast! I feel like I really could use a vacation,but don’t see an ops to have one…here soon.Herb

…the 4th…uh…uh …what the hell is my…oh yeah…the 4th horseman.

 Howzit Herb, Next time I see Peter I tell him hi for you and Bob. Well since I don't have to move then when you decide to use that ticket to Hi I'll be here. Yeah I have to do some work on my computer, the burner stopped working and the app I use the most has somehow become corrupted. Thinking about reformatting the harddrive and starting from scratch.Aloha,Kokua

just when I was exhausted and ready to paddle in today [which I NEVER do !!] …

out paddles “Mmmm” , a few set waves start breaking around where we were sitting , and , in between the laughs and better vibe in the water , I stayed out another 40 minutes , and got some fun ones .

Not bad for a Saturday afternon [‘arvo’]

Yep , ladies …gotta love surf with them .

ben

more pics…

Jack




I like it when they’re sitting on their boards and try to hide their juice pocket with one or both hands, to keep us from staring at their crotches!

3 more…






yes I love surfing with ‘ladies’ (probably girls at my age though… Its great when they do big bottom turns too! Watch out if you ever surf “A-bay” though… you may attract the wrong crowd!

welcome back Josh !!

…I bet you saw some fine healthy girl surfers during your time at Noosa …

haha! I think i would have had more luck with the following though…


“Those guys have it backwards.” Nice Freudian slip, Ben.

hahaha

claassic Tik !

…totally unintended …well spotted !

the doctor is IN the house [must be hard not to take your work home sometimes eh ? …especially when guys with exploding head avatars are online ]

ben

http://www.rellsunn.com/heartoftheseadvd.htm

A young Woman

and the Sea

or

[b]"The Woman Who Shot

Ulua Valance"[/b]

A Story by Rell Sunn

Reaction time is faster when you see bigger fish. At the instant I saw the 45-pound ulua munching on a tiny snowflake eel my Hawaiian sling hand-spear was already cranked and flying. The three prongs lodged in the back of his blunt head, and he spun once, eyeing me with reproach. But instead of screeching for the channel, he turned and went back to work on the eel.

I was faster and luckier with my back-up spear, as it found its mark between his eyes. The ulua bolted for the deep blue of the drop-off, the two spears poking like antennae from his brow and humming through the water with his furious rush.

It had been an easy, almost effortless dive day. The usually temperamental waters off of Oahu’s Kaena Point were placid, seemingly beaten into laziness by the summer heat. The ocean there is full of fish, outrageous holes, and Hawaiian myth and lore. I had paddled out on my longboard, which was both my partner and diving platform, with two Hawaiian sling spears, a mask, snorkel, fins and a dive bag…all weighing no more than 15 pounds, board included.

Within an hour the 9-foot, 6-inch longboard was awash under the weight of 65 pounds of octopus, giant uhus (parrotfish), a couple of seven-pound kumus (highly prized goatfish…red, good, delicious).

I was already headed in and skipping over a mental shopping list for ingredients needed for steaming the kumu and stuffing and baking the uhu when I spotted my dream fish.

The ulua had put some distance between us despite the two spears stuck into him. I was already three-quarters of a mile out and swimming with burning lungs and muscles against the current. My board had drifted down current; it was a gamble to let it go and swim after the fish, but I couldn’t afford to lose sight of my quarry for even a second. I was committed to the gamble of sticking with my fish.

The wobbling of the spear soon wore the ulua down enough so that I could use the best of my energy to surge ahead of him and herd him back toward the shallows. As my calves began to cramp I was relieved to see the fish doing flips and violent spirals… he was dying.

Uluas are beautiful fish. They’re smart, good hunters and are incredibly strong. I’ve seen them turn vicious when injured. As this ulua fluttered to a ledge 35 feet below, I realized that he didn’t know that particular crevice as well (it was a dead end) as I did. It was the stroke of luck I needed to take a chance on retrieving my board. Three minutes later I was back with my board, hovering over the crevice, and relaxing my breathing to get a good gulp of air for the descent.

The ulua was scraping the spears against the ceiling of the ledge when I reached the opening. I sunk the fingers of one hand into his eye socket and gripped the spear shaft protruding from his head with the other, and began to guide him out and up toward the surface.

He fought hardest two feet from the surface. My legs were starting to cramp and I was on the verge of blacking out. I shot out into the air, blasting the snorkel free of water, and for the first time felt the true heft of the fish, which felt like a leaden umbrella held overhead.

As I wrestled the ulua up onto the deck of my board, I heard what sounded like wind blowing through reel lines, or dogs barking. I pulled my mask off and followed the noise to a spot on the shoreline where four fishermen were jumping, yelling and pointing at me.I grinned and raised the 45-pound trophy in a victory salute.

Then, I turned my head seaward just in time to see a 14-foot tiger shark sliding under the surface barely 50 feet away, knifing toward my board, my 65 pounds of octopus and fish, my ulua and my legs, not necessarily in that order.

A million heartbreaking thoughts and possibilities flashed into my mind, yet I had but two solutions to them all: pulling myself into the less-exposed knee-paddling position, and scuttling the ulua off the side.

I took a few pulls toward shore and said, “I’ll be back…next time catch your own dinner!” I didn’t have the heart to do the “panic-paddle” in, and so from a safe distance I watched my dream fish begin to sink. He wasn’t even a foot under when the tiger grabbed him and tore into the midsection. My lungs, my arms and the fishermen were screaming as I paddled away from the snapping, churning orgy.

From shore the fishermen and I watched the shark finish up what could have been a mini-luau for my neighbors and me. We traded fish recipes, shark stories and other spooky stuff about Kaena. They helped clean (and eat!) the fish. Other than that 14-foot tiger shark, my day couldn’t have been nicer; sharing a day’s catch and making new friends.

My new friends helped me lift my VW bug and turn it toward Makaha (it had no reverse gear). I headed off to my hula class, late again.

I drove along the dirt road back to Mahaka, the sparkling afternoon sea smoldering against the rock-bound shore. In less than 30 minutes I would be back in my more land-locked world, full of Hawaiian music, dancing, and “talking story” with the girls.

But out there, under the deceptively placid surface, was a world blind to gender. Though I was taught by men, I was formed by and subjected to the rigid laws of a seemingly lawless realm that treated me and every grazing ulua or marauding shark with the same utter equanimity.

Though I was running late, I stopped along the way and picked some hinahina for my hula sisters’ leis. The succulent flowers grow along the arid Kaena coast road, living on the thick sea spray. Not exactly ulua steaks, but Pua and Sweets and the girls would be stoked.


Ben,

I worry more about the people whose heads DON’T explode from time to time.