Hey Ghost,
Don’t give up man. Find a mentor. I’m learning so much at Cerritos College, it’s insane. Like Tiki said, go float in the ocean and look up at the clouds!
Been on vacation, so I missed some of this. All I can add is that, throughout my life, and very much so recently, things have happened that I previously did not believe could happen, because something periodically shifted inside me, and I opened to possibilities as if they were realities already in place, and all the barriers dissolved. The stream of confluences and convergences and “coincidences” was many years in the making, yet instantaneous in their resultant power. All I had to do was listen and be awake to the flow of events, and then do the work (yes, there is always that requirement).
So, again I learn. Every time I think I’m closer to “getting it,” life lets me know that I have only the barest clue of how to stay centered in the vast vortex of wonderment and the magic of existence, to live in the results of cognitive and emotional intent, to be content.
We bring each other along the path as best we can. But we have to allow others to do so. Our teachers are all around us. Surfing is not just about catching the wave on the water. It’s about catching the universal wave within and upon which everything flows. And riding it well.