What's up with 2006?

General Discussion
1

Is this the year of heaven or hell or what?

But what in the world is going on this year?

It first started for us back in early April my dear cousin was killed getting hit broadside on Kalanianiole taking her son to school. Pretty much tore our family up as she had just got married on December 31 of last year.

Then three weeks later 2 days before my cousin’s funeral service at Kamehameha Schools(which was put on by Hawaiian Airlines and the largest ever 1000+ at the chapel) my father suddenly passed away at home very unexpectantly and another big blow to the entire family.

5 days after my father’s funeral my sister’s closest friend’s mom passed away at home ater a long illness. He firiend had accompanied her aunt(who’s my dad’s classmate) to my dad’s funeral. We represented my sister and my dad at her mom’s funeral where her husband Brother Noland sang a beautiful rendition of Makani Ka’ili Aloha.

Exactly one week after my dad’s funeral my best friends dad suddenly passed away at home just like my father and my brother and I helped out with their service as he and his wife did the beautiful flower wreaths for my father’s service. I still need to finish the video for him.

Then about four weeks ago Hugh O’reilly, who’s kids we grew surfing with down at our family beach house here in Ewa Beach passed away. On tuesday they had a huge military ceremony at Schofield Barracks for him as he was part of the famous Wolfhounds division that adopted a bombed out orfanage in Japan and who heroics caused hollywood to make a movie about it all after the war.

Around the same time my dad’s best friend Alvin Shim passed away after a long battle with diabetes. He was so sick that he couldn’t attend my dad’s funeral even though he wanted to badly. We made sure he got a DVD showing all of them when they were alot younger (60’s) having a good time with all their Kamehameha Schools classmates playing music and singing songs down at our beach house. His funeral is going to be held at the Blaisdell Concert Hall and Exhibition Center because of all the people he knew and helped get started. His ashes will be spread off of punalu’u, his favorite beach. If you’ve been there you’d know how nice it is too.

Then two weeks ago my neighbor came by to let me know his mom just passed away. Which we kind of knew seeing all the cars around their house a during a week day.

And just as we were planning to make arrangements to attend her funeral yesterday we found out that my dad’s cousin’s husband passed away and the service was at the exact same time at a another chapel on the other side of the island. My brother went there to represent the family while we went to do the same at our neighbor’s mom’s service. My dad’s cousin’s daughter is the same age as me and is both a dear classmate from Kamehameha as well as a dear cousin who used to stay with her grandma down at the beach with us here in Ewa since she was from Moloka’i.

Now today, I come home and find out that my classmate and fellow Ewa Beach pal Greg Chee just passed away and his services will also be up at the school next weekend. Greg just happens to be the older brother of a dear surf buddy of ours named Puni Chee who’s a friend of almost everyone he meets in and out of the water. We were shocked when Puni told my brother and I in the lineup about three weeks ago that his brother had been fighting liver cancer. The last time we saw him at a family dinner we had here in Ewa we noticed he was balding but thought that was just because of age and stress since he’s a lawyer. I feel for Puni and hope this take the wind out of his laughter in the lineup. I also feel for HF, Thomas , Shaun and the rest of the O’reiily’s as well. They were with us when we laid my uncle Ted’s ashes in the break at Sharkcountry a couple years ago… And my heart feels for my cousin Willa Mae Pu’aa and her family as well as her Grandma Girlie was my teacher of life as a kid on the beach as any Kupuna could’ve been. We are all a family of the beach and beach lifestyle we grew up on. We were all connected this way and now by another.

I don’t mean to bum everyone out here but it’s been a really hard summer for alot of folks I know.

Almost enough to take the wind out of anything like board building even though we’re slowing getting back into it again.

The weird part about it is as I think about it, the hair on the back of my neck stands up cause it’s almost like that movie where you feel death is chasing you all around like a curse. You almost begin to wonder and fear who’s next? Me? someone else in my family or inner circle? It’s very very strange and very spooky.

I’d just thought I throw it out there in case anyone knew any significance of this specific time and year that might have some meaning to what’s happening around us.

You know us Hawaiian’s we’re superstitious to max

I do know that everyone one of these folks are in a better place having a big luau there…

Again sorry for the banter

Just had to get it off my chest

cause I understand all this

about as much as I understand all this compsand mumbo jumbo.

and that’s not much

2

Remember and rejoice the time you had with them.

That’s a lot of people. Wow.

3

Hi oneula,

I can empathize with you. We’ve had similare goings on in my family and among the friends in our community. I wonder, too. Maybe it’s just a function of everyone getting older and living in a small community where everyone knows each other. I know that life is short and time is too precious to waste. It’s important to live every day. Everything happens for a reasons I don’t understand. When it’s time to move to the others side, then it’s time. Mike

4

It isn’t heaven or hell…it’s the seasons of life. Rooster nailed it with his comment about living “in a small town where you know everybody”. It doesn’t have to be a small town, just close-knit community of people - think here at Swaylock’s for a good example. Modern life gets by with throw-away everything- possessions, lives, relationships. People interested in climbing “up the ladder”, stepping over everything and everybody in the way, moving around all the time to get a little bit more of the pie…they aren’t “around” when things are unhappy. They also aren’t around when things are good. And the clock still ticks for them as well, but they can’t see the movement of the hands. While those who stay connected sometimes sail seas heaving with heartache, they are also the ones who have reaped the most rewards in terms of knowing people and the wealth that comes with that. The others often reap a ration of regret at time lost, for what is time but experience, and the best experiences are better when shared.

There usually are groupings of age or illness which point to a lack of randomness, but randomness is still the Joker in the deck. Once I get through a period like this I find after a year or two it doesn’t hurt quite so much to breathe, I don’t worry quite so much in detail about health matters. Time heals, but it takes a lot of time.

5

Yeah, it seems as you continue your life’s path, you run into cycles of death, birth, bad luck, great luck, whatever…

Just part of the path, and another obstacle you climb on your way to the deathbed.

6

yup

the only problem for me personally is that I’m spending almost every free weekend now including some days during the week having to use vacation to attend to these funeral proceedings. Every funeral you attend seems to almost lead into another one like and endless loop you can’t get out of. It’s almost becoming too much to deal with. When we visit my dad’s grave at the veterans memorial we just see new grave after new grave popping up every weekend. A sign of the times…

Makes you wonder what life has become when all you can do other than work is to attend to the deaths of loved ones or loved ones of dear friends… Makes you contemplate about it all when honoring death is what your life slowly becomes centered around…

Kind of like working in a hospital or hospice I guess

But the concept of surfing takes on a new meaning when it becomes a time of solace and self reflection versus just having fun.

Kind of weird when the vibe in the water is all about sadness versus joy when every other person you see in the lineup is dealing some some type of personal loss of another…

sad times in this part of the circle can’t wait till it turns

a sign of getting old I guess.

7

Sorry to hear of so many losses for you, your family and friends… I just went to a funeral for Cobra DeSoto who was such a cool man. He lived a long, good life, loved by many and I only wish we could all do the same… I went thru some rough times years ago that was similar to what you are going thru now. A lot of close people to me passed on, some very young and others older but still not the full life we all hope to have… It was all close together too… I cried so many tears I felt like I didn’t have any left… A heavy heart for a long time thinking how much I missed everyone…

All we can do is cherish the time we have with the people around us and have as many smile filled days to stoke those out who aren’t with us… After thinking more about it, I figured it out that those who passed on look down on us and want us to be happy. They look at us thinking make the most of it! Be stoked!!! That’s how I will be when I go… I will hope all my family and friends are just making the most of it all, stoked out and happy… I now try my hardest to live life with the maximum smile factor going and try to instill it into those around me… The heavy heart gets lighter but I never stop missing the ones I love that have passed on… I feel they want me to be smiling so I will as much as possible…

The older we get, the more friends and family will be passing on… So sad to say our goodbyes but one of my friends told me a comforting thing… One day he was surfing Mokuleia around 10’ solid… He dropped in on a bomb and fell, hitting his head on his deck. Knocked him out cold. Just so happen a few other friends were out with a ski and saw his board tomb stoning. They eventually got to him and pulled him up but by then he was in bad shape. By the time the ambulance got there his heart had stopped and he was right there at deaths door… By no small miracle they got him back into a coma state and has since recovered almost 90%. He was even on the news because of his amazing come back to life experience… The comforting thing he told me was he knew his heart stopped and knew he was dead. He said it was the by far the best feeling he’s ever had. He said it was so awesome the worry free feeling that totally overcame him… He said its Nirvana! He said no worry’s for the dead… They got it good!

Now I’m not saying go out and commit suicide! But we can hold on to the memories of those we love and stoke them out by being happy as much as we can till we can join them… Oneula, I hope things get better for you and you can get back to living stoked again sooner than later… Aloha bruddah…

8

sorry to hear about Cobra…

That’s one deep and close hawaiian family the Desoto’s

used to see Ant’s and Bruce surfing everywhere togethor.

I’m sure there will be more sadness this year

it just seems like there’s a big page being turned in god’s attendance book lately…

Puni is a good friend of your Ewa Beach buds that grew up with John Okamura.

He also is a friend of JasonTroy and John D whom he worked for many years for at the council.

It would break my heart to see Puni in the line up with out his big boisterous laugh and smile.

Best wishes to all

9

Oneula:

Hang in there buddy. Late 2003, 2004 and 2005 were the years my family faced so many death, mental illness and of course a sense of loss. It seemed every other month we were burring an aunt or an uncle or even visiting the pysche ward. I remember telling my relatives that we need more weddings and baby luaus. This year I was blessed with the birth of a granddaughter and at least three weddings.

I pray and hope this cycle will end for you soon. I hope that your life will soon be filled with bliss.

For the short time that I have known you, I know that you have a loving and generous nature. I am sure that great blessing are around the corner.

Hang in there and may God bless you and you family and may He heal your heavy hearts,

D

10

the life path has many turnings and many seasons. like so many of us, i know what it is like to be wounded by loss. i can’t recall where i read this as i’ve read a bunch of books on grief this year but the sentence that struck me was ‘death is a thief & grief is a bully’. the loss of family & friends is a heavy burden to bear. it is painful & relentless & cruel. it feels like it will never end.

all that is left for us who live with loss is to honour those whom we have lost. i think we do this by grieving well & living well. easy to say but what does this look like? i think it looks like men who love their wives and children deeply, men who are generous with their friends, men who do their best in all things like working with their hands to build surfboards. it’s about being passionate about the people we love, and about being passionate about the things we love best, like making & riding toys to ride waves. it’s about living humbly, sensitively & gratefully. it’s about looking after one another.

so oneula, i pray you can grieve well & live well. i pray peace & strength for you & your brokenhearted family.

11

Whoa . . . kinda puts things in perspective . . . Sorry Oneula . . . hope things do get better for you. I can only offer up my prayers . . . I can look at the good times and also the bad . . . I am blessed because the loved ones I know and where I am going after the passing. Death scares me a great deal, yet I am comforted in known that I have help from the One that set up everything we see, taste, experience, and live and even the stuff we don’t notice.

Just trust there is reasoning behind it all, trust in goodness that comes out of it, and finally be thankful that you’ve had the chance to experience such wonderful people as you have said.

12

I know exactly how you feel, during my fifth grade year I had two of my grandparents die, and then a few years ago within a few months two more died (Only my grandmother on my father’s side is left, my other grandma remarried, thus two grandpas on one side). During the time period between my grandpa and grandma’s deaths last year my best friend’s grandpa died. It seems trajedies come on waves, you just have to keep fighting back, don’t let the sorrow rule your life, remember them for thier lives, not thier deaths. It’s hard for me, it feels like there are holes in the world and my heart, places that cannot be filled by any other. I especially miss my grandpa, who would take me fishing, baby sit me etc, we were really close. I’m getting teary eyed just writing this lol. Anyway, When the world throws you a curve, you just gotta keep going, and fight back.

13

Hey Oneula, peace.



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