My Nephew Gordon Mathis Riley wasn’t a big name Surfer he didn’t have his Photo in a magazine or have a rep asa board builder. Nevertheless like so many Surfers he was true original.
He started Surfing in Hong Kong at a break known as Big Wave Bay. His Father had taken a job there and so most of his formative years were in Hong Kong. he did take the Hong Kong Jr Surf Championship and went on to Represent Hong Kong in an international competition in Bali.
The Family then moved to Brisbane Australia where he furthered his skills in the water. Like most of us he was competent and had moments when he shined. As he matured his confidence grow, he was fearless in just about everything he did.
all The years that the Family lived overseas they maintained a family home in Park City Utah. It’s there that he honed more skills as skier and board rider. He was a very skilled and competent skier. He loved the mountains as much as he loved the ocean. He seemed to drew energy from both. in skiing he was also fearless dropping cliffs and skiing tight steep shuts with abandon.
He was talented athlete but as a scholar he had a talent for writing. He went to UC Santa Barbra for College. was co chair of The local Surf Rider Foundation. An editor for Surfer magazine saw an article that he wrote for the Campus newspaper and Ask Gordon brought him into the Surfer Magazine staff as an apprentice. he was soon bored with writing up contest results and left the Magazine.
While in Santa Barbra he decided to try something a little different. He combined his love for waves with his love for skiing. he had a shaper make two short narrow boards and mounted them with ski bindings. . The idea was to slalom ski down the face of a large wave. His test were successful however before getting into large surf his jet ski was swamped. it’s my understanding that others are now working on this idea.
At some point in his Jr year of College he started acting strange and after a few events he was diagnosed as being Bipolar. It took some time but it was looking like he was getting his life back on Track. He was in Law School and was thinking of a career in Environmental law.
We have no idea what happened or what triggered his collapse into utter chaos. He was back in Park City for Christmas break. he then spent 3 days self medicating with booze and dope. at the end he took his own life.
These words don’t say how talented and truly unique Gordon was. He really was one of a kind.
That is a fitting tribute to a full but tragically shortened life, thanks for posting it here. We can never see or know or judge the inner demons that the people around us struggle with, sometimes its a monumental battle, and sometmes its a battle that they lose. But despite the pain of the loss, at least we can take a certain comfort in knowing their battle has ended and they now are at rest. Do you have any pics of Gordon you could share with us? Be nice to put a face to the story.
Art, heart felt condolences to your family for the tragic loss…so many among us with undiagnosed mental illness, struggling to cope, self-medicating to dull the pain. And even those properly diagnosed and medicated, too often find themselves slipping away. Just had our oldest grandson diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome, and we’re all in deep talks on how to best help him going forward.
Thank you for sharing and putting in words his life.May you and yours find peace.My friend,a renowned board shaper and surfer here in Hawaii, bi-polar as well,with two young children,took his life as well,and left us all struggling to make sense of it.
Yes I will have some photos posted soon. One or two of him on his surfing skis. There is another of him at Campus Point in Santa Barbra on a very overhead wave. My Niece his sister put together a Photo montage for his memorial service. She will be sending me the Thumb drive.
Kavali have come to see that Gordon did not take his life. It was the Disease killed him, just like Cancer.
Heartfelt sorrow for your family’s loss…unfortunately we have had a similar experiance in our family as well and my youngest (now 30) is bipolar. Tough disorder…she was only diagnosed about two years ago. Scares the hell out of me! We all need to come to accept that the human brain is just another organ and can become ill just like any other part of our body. Wish that the mainstream would accept this and help tear down the terrible stigma that goes along with mental health issues. Maybe then people could better adjust to their situations without suffering the stigma that destroys their self esteem and spirals them downward.
Meant to add, my son had severe problems with depression after ankle damage had confined him to a chair in front of his computer games, in severe chronic pain. He made 2 attempts at suicide. He became dependent on pain killers. He dropped out of state university after his freshman year and has been in and out of community college several times. After 7 years, 4 ankle surgeries, many sleepless nights and much hand-wringing he appears to be rolling down the rails again at 26…
Mental/emotional illness affects everybody surrounding the sufferer as well. It is a painful ordeal for all concerned.
Again, you and your family have my heartfelt condolences.
Have to look no further then Andy Irons to see the tragedy of bi-polar, self-medicated behavior.
From the National Institute of Mental Health:
“Mental disorders are common in the United States and internationally. An
estimated 26.2 percent of Americans ages 18 and older — about one in
four adults — suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder in a given year.1”
In 2006, 33,300 (approximately 11 per 100,000) people died by suicide in the U.S.7
More
than 90 percent of people who kill themselves have a diagnosable mental
disorder, most commonly a depressive disorder or a substance abuse
disorder.8
I mentioned earlier my oldest grandchild has been just diagnosed with Aspergers. His father, our oldest son, struggled with issues for years before getting his act together. We took him to psychiatrists, group counseling, did everything we could, he remained a disruptive force in our family all the way until he moved out after high school. He started abusing drugs as a teen and his 20's were spent at raves and going to college when he showed up, somehow managed to graduate college 9 years later.
These days he is a really good father, works his ass off as a software engineer, and thanks us regularly for standing by him while he put the family through so much stress.
No point, no moral, just is what it is. People are born with the hand their given. Some get it together, some struggle, some just fade. All we can do is give everything we can give and hope it is enough, and that somehow they can pull themselves through all the chop and make it safely to smoother waters.
My wife is an austism therapist, now she has me tuned into the characteristics that go along with the autism spectrum, when we are out she often shows me persons who are on the “spectrum”, many of her clients fathers show indicators of the disorder.
I worked with a quasi computer science genius, he constantly washed his hands in acetone, avoided any human physical contact, I made the mistake of snatching a pepperoncini from his sub sandwich one day, he tossed it in the trash rather that touch it. We were all sub human to him as we were all stupid, sorry we couldn’t pull our IQ’s up to 160. Sadly, my wife suffers from bi-polar herself, but with knowledge comes compassion, she will let me know when she feels herself spiraling into depression, there is nothing I can do to stop the process, but I let her know I am always there and will not emotionally abandon her while she rides it out.
Aspergers affected persons usually fall into the accountant, engineer, mathematician, fields where an action always results in a determinable result
I’ll just add that with milder forms of bipolar it is important to get plenty of regular sleep, a healthy diet, regular exercise, and minimize the stress. Mike
My wife would give a nut for a full nights sleep, as a victim of parental incest she sleeps with one eye open literally, depression steals sleep, leaving those with it wanting to NOT get out of bed at times. In her younger days the result was alcohol and drug abuse, anything to self medicate. We all get depressed from time to time, but thankfully I have never been one to dive into the bottomless spiral
So many of us who deal with first, second, and/or third hand contact
with mental health issues…
In my work I speak to colleges about it frequently, if and when one looks like
a duck (not obviously physically disabled), walks like a duck (see previous),
and talks like a duck (no obvious mental/verbal disability - upon minimal
conversation), then most people expect they to act like a duck…
Which, as my grandfather may have said, is, “put near impossible,”
for those with significant differences in brain functioning due to whatever the
“cause:” mental illness, differences like Autism Spectrum
disorder/Asperger’s, ADD/ADHD, drug abuse, etc. etc.
I was just talking to my beloved Sally about this, and said, “I’ve
never, ever, heard anyone suggest, nor have I read, they are glad the person
killed themselves,.” Everyone would like to have helped… if
possible.
“Aspergers affected persons usually fall into the accountant, engineer,
mathematician, fields where an action always results in a determinable
result”
Higher Functioning Aspergers, HFA, is most common in folks with above average IQ, so not surprising the fields they best function in. Usually their core issues are dealing socially, have problems with empathy and emotions, function quite well in objective environments. Research points to slightly abnormal brain physiology.
Very common for young kids who suffer some sort of traumatic brain injury to later be diagnosed with HFA. My grandchild was an absolutely normal kid until he suffered a dangerous brain clot at age 4 and began having dozens of micro seizures a day, got diagnosed, endured a 9 hour highly traumatic brain surgery to remove the clot deep in his brain, was never quite the same after, having had his hard wiring severely disrupted. The older he got, the more challenging the social conditions of school became (kid is hella smart), the more difficult it became for him to function fully and happily.
Aspergers, bi-polar, depression…our wives, husbands, children and grandchildren, good human beings doing the best they can in a world that is so challenging for them, deserving of all the love we can give them.
If anyone here can get their hands on a late Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders and spend enough time with any of us, I can just about guarantee that each and every one of us is diagnosable in one or more categories. It's a damn thick book and 'they' (the psychiatrists) wrote it, in part, to establish specific diagnostic codes for billing and administrative purposes... I.E. if they can pin a diagnosis on you, they can bill you or your insurance carrier for it.
I'm not trying to take away from the significance of a suicide. I'm just saying that bringing up various types of psychiatric disorders is a slippery slope.
I think I get what you are saying, John. That book and billing process might be where the 25 % of all Americans stat comes from.
Jim, that’s a heavy card hand to deal with. My suggestion is based on the recommendations of a family member with a mild form of bipolar disorder. Not a cure. Just a way to help manage the symptoms. Kind of like managing type 2 diabetes. Her analogy. Not mine. Mike
